


imagine you, me and us

by scrappymitchell



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, Happy Ending, No Hauntings, Rom-Com AU, Romantic Fluff, Soft Jamie Squad, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:34:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 25,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28834944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrappymitchell/pseuds/scrappymitchell
Summary: Dani gets the nanny job at Bly Manor, looking after two mischievous children with challenging attatchments. Along the way of navigating her job, she grows close with the groundskeeper Jamie and brings the job to be even more precious for her to hold onto. Both Jamie and Dani have their baggage, but soon their feelings for each other helps them begin to grow.Basically a rewrite of Bly Manor where it's gone from tagic ghost story, to a romantic fluff fest.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 32
Kudos: 73





	1. Arriving at Bly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys, welcome to the first chapter! so just a quick break down this is basically a rewrite of the show in the style of it being not a haunting series and instead just a lesbian love story in a “normal” setting. so having said that there are some scenes in certain chapters that are in the show (with a twist in them here and there) but majority is entirely filling in all the gaps and goes on a new kind of direction with them. maybe that made zero sense. anyway, regardless, I hope you guys like it.

Dani really did think she blew it from the interview. The interview, quite frankly, went terribly and she was without a doubt the most awkward she had ever felt in her entire life and  _ yet  _ through the art of whiskey, beer and half-drunk conversation, she managed to work her way in. It wasn’t even intentional, she was just genuinely curious. 

But Henry Wingrave gave her the nanny position for his niece and nephew and come the next day, her bags were packed and she was being picked up by the house cook, who’s name she learned on the way was Owen, he was nice enough, she just hoped the other two were. There was a housekeeper and a gardener according to Owen. 

When arriving, she met the housekeeper, Hannah Grose and of course the two children Flora and Miles, who by all accounts seemed very polite.  _ Perfectly Splendid.  _ After the introductions, it was taken upon Flora to show her around the house, more so a role that she took over and not so much was appointed with. The house within itself was absolutely grand, literally. It was the most extravagant house that she had ever laid her eyes on, much more than houses she ever grew up around. 

In fact, Dani wouldn’t be surprised if she got lost in here. Eventually she was shown to her room, which was just as impressive as the rest of the house. When she was left alone with Flora, Miles and Hannah leaving her to it, Dani gave herself a moment to lose her composure and allow her excited state to come out. She only allowed herself to be a fool for a few short seconds, after that she went full into professional mode because her job started pretty much right away. 

Dani changed herself into a different set of clothing than the ones she travelled in and made her way to the kitchen to  _ attempt  _ at making everyone a nice cup of tea...that was going to be her biggest challenge. Not the kids, not finding her way correctly around the house...but the  _ tea _ . She missed the days where tea to her was with ice, lemon wedges and came out of a pitcher rather than a kettle. 

Though, when sitting down for her first evening meal with Flora, Miles and Hannah, she feared already that she failed to make a satisfying cup by the look on Hannah’s face “I hope it’s all right,” Dani started, then briefly explaining “I haven’t quite figured out tea yet, so…”

Hannah was as polite as her smile when she gently reassured in what was ultimately a lie “It’s fine, dear.”

But Dani just took her at her word and didn’t notice Miles wince when he took a sip for himself. Owen came in with Flora and served up the food, which was pretty amazing and quite possibly the best meal that Dani had had since she arrived in England all those months ago. It was when Hannah eventually left the table after engaging conversation that Dani noticed the untouched cup of tea.

Miles leaned forward in his chair and whispered with a warm smile “I’ll give you some pointers.”

_ Great, taking tips from a twelve year old on how to do a drink properly, nice first day. _ Dani smiled tightly to him with gratitude as she sighed “Thank you.” 

After dinner was finished, Dani took the kids upstairs to get ready for bed, with Flora in the bath, the little girl was filled with questions “You’re really from America?”

Dani chuckled softly “Yeah I don’t put this voice on for fun.”

“I like it, it’s wonderful.” 

Dani tilted her head to her with an endearing raising of her brows “Yeah? Well I think  _ your  _ accent is pretty wonderful.”

“Miss Jessel had a lovely voice.” Flora sighed softly, almost with sadness as she looked down to the bubbles, Dani leaned forward, down on her folded arms “Who’s Miss Jessel?”

“Why, she was our nanny before you of course.”

“Ah I see. You liked her?”

Flora smiled brightly “Yes, she was splendid.”

_ This kid  _ **_really_ ** _ likes that word huh _ . Dani nodded, she took no offense of course Flora was a kid, of course she was going to be attached to her former nanny, especially with the fact she and Miles lost their parents a while back now due to a car crash, any motherly figure was going to be one to get attached to. “Why did she leave?” 

“She left,” Flora shrugged. “I’m not quite sure why. I thought she liked it here. I miss her terribly...but I am glad you are here!”

“Good. Because I’m glad to be here,” Dani soothed before she turned and grabbed a towel for the child, “okay, well, I’d say the bath has done its job. How ‘bout we get you out and ready for bed.”

Flora got out of the tub as Dani wrapped the towel around her, requesting on her way out if she was able to play with her dolls before bed, which Dani allowed for the fifteen minutes she would be occupied seeing to Miles and ensuring that everything was okay around their rooms. 

She got Miles into bed, noticing that he was feeling down “Is this about the school?”

Henry told Dani that Miles was sent home from boarding school due to bad behaviour that could not be accepted but now meeting him, it did throw Dani off a little, because the boy she had known for these past few hours seemed polite and kind enough. Miles simply shrugged his shoulders “I just wanted to come home.”

“Well, I taught once at a boarding school, like yours.”

Miles looked at her curiously “Really?”

Dani hums “And I know how tough it can be, I’ve seen it. But you’re home now,  _ and  _ now that I’m here I hope you know you can talk to me about anything. School.  _ Not  _ school, anything you’re feeling. Promise, I’ve heard it all and it’s what I’m here for, okay?”

“It’s very kind of you,” he says softly and then swiftly switches the subject. “Goodnight, Dani.”

“Goodnight.” 

Dani really wanted to do right by this job and by these kids, already it meant a great deal. And already she did feel as though she had something to prove, because she had no experience of being an au pair, she knew that technically Henry was taking a risk by hiring someone with no experience, and with that, Dani really did was to show him that he did right. She didn’t know if Hannah or Owen knew that she was new to all this, but regardless, she wanted to show them too. 

After getting Flora to pack up her dollhouse, she finally got her in bed and soon Dani turned off the lights in the children’s room and made her way to her own. She had only been here for a few hours but if she did say so herself, she was doing alright so far. Apart from the tea, obviously. 

Dani got changed into her pyjamas, keeping the blanket over her mirror at all costs. She didn’t want to risk it, she couldn’t bear to keep seeing his face around this house. So she was going to avoid it as much as she possibly could. As she lay in bed, she just stared up to the ceiling. 

  
  


Meeting the children.  _ Check. _

Meeting Hannah and Owen.  _ Check _ . 

Making a cup of tea.  _ Check _ .

Try again at making tea.  _ To be completed _ . 

Get to know the children.  _ Check _ . 

  
  


Well three out of five isn’t bad. Oh, make that four. She was still yet to meet the gardener. She hadn’t seen the gardener at all around the grounds today, so yes, she was still to meet them. Maybe tomorrow. 

  
  


The next morning, after going for a morning stroll on the Manor grounds with Flora and Miles to get to know them better. She learned that Flora was always full of this kind of positive energy, whilst Miles on the other hand had changes in his mood as swift as the weather. Soon, Dani found herself in the kitchen with the children, Hannah and Owen as he attended to their lunch. 

As soon as the plate was placed down in front of her, Dani’s attention was pulled elsewhere when she saw a young woman come through the door, she had dirt on her arms and forehead and so that gave it away pretty evidently that this was the Manor’s gardener, the one she was yet to meet. Perhaps it was wrong of her to initially think the gardener would have been a man, but this petite woman certainly caught her by surprise. Dani scanned the rest of her, she couldn’t help it. From what she was wearing to the look in her eyes as she glanced to Dani, she was beautiful. 

_ The gardener did not even introduce herself to the new au pair. She barely acknowledged her at all. Simply treated her as if she’d always been there. The others in the room just assumed they’d already met, which, if she were honest, was how the au pair felt when she first saw the young woman.  _

“So, who decided it was a good idea to feed these wee gremlins?” The gardener called from the sink as she scrubbed her hands clean. Her accent was different, different than the ones Dani have heard since being here anyway, certainly different from the others here.

“We’re not gremlins!” Flora exclaimed, though Dani did find it funny as she smirked when eating her food “We’re very good children!” 

“Oh, is that right?” she turned, making her way over as her dry teasing continued “See, I’m not so sure. Owen, what do you think?”

Owen played along “It’s hard to say. I’m gonna have to get water on them to be sure.” 

The brunette stared at the two children sternly before she broke her serious composure when she flicked her wet hands towards them and sprinkled them with the water from her hands, she broke out into an immediate laughter as she took her seat down at the end of the table with Owen placing her plate down for her in front “There you go, Jamie.”

_ Jamie _ . Her name echoed through Dani’s mind as she allowed her eyes to linger on her for a few moments longer, she couldn’t help but wonder,  _ why  _ hasn’t she said anything to her? But why was Dani suddenly so driven for Jamie the gardener to even so much as look at her? 

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Owen directed his question to her “So, Dani. How did you find your first night?” 

Dani looked over to Owen and his kind face, glancing at the children as she released a smile “It was great.”

“And today?” Hannah added, “Flora and Miles gave you a more look around the grounds, I believe?”

“Yeah they were kind enough to show me around a little more.” Dani gleamed again, seeing Jamie’s eyes latching onto her for a moment, Dani couldn’t tell if Jamie was simply listening to her or  _ studying  _ her, like she just had with her as soon as Jamie came through the door. 

When Dani glanced back at her, Jamie looked down to her food once more. Dani  _ wanted  _ to say something to her, ask her something, to simply get to know her a little bit. After all, she had gotten to know Owen and Hannah a little better from yesterday. But Jamie? She knew nothing about other than her role around here. 

But before she could say anything, Flora chimed in as she spoke up to Owen “Dear Owen?”

“Yes, darling Flora?” Owen returned the same politeness, turning to look at her, “What can I do for you?”

“Would it be possible to have spaghetti this evening for dinner?” 

Dani had without a doubt never met a child as polite as this little girl that was in front of her, none of the kids she grew up around said things with such care and consideration and it wasn’t an English thing, she taught at a school before coming here, it  _ certainly  _ wasn’t an English thing. Clearly Flora and Miles' parents did a good job before they passed. 

“Well I think that can certainly be arranged.”

“Splendid.” Flora chirped as she turned back and resumed her lunch, they  _ all  _ returned to their lunch. 

But God, Dani once couldn’t help herself once again but look over to Jamie, this time their eyes catching, just for a second before both looking away. But a second that shot butterflies down Dani’s stomach. 

Dani didn’t expect Jamie to stay as late as she did in the day, but this time round unlike last night she stuck around for dinner and even then as Dani sent the children off to get changed, here she stayed. 

And they still had barely said any words to each other, at all. As soon as lunch was finished Jamie disappeared back into the garden and Dani hadn’t seen or heard from her since, until right now when she came into the main front hall of the house and saw Jamie at the table in the centre, checking on the vase that rested on it. 

_ Now is as good of a time as any _ . With that being her only thought, Dani sprung a step forward and just came out with a bold and possibly overly loud introduction “I’m Dani,” her words came to a stop until Jamie turned her head to her, Dani then shrugged and kept a smile on her face “I don’t think I told you that...when we...when I-at lunch.” 

Jamie nods to her “Yeah, I know. Hannah told me your name,” she has a look on her face that with neither cold nor completely warm, she leaned down on her table with her palms and shook her head as if to herself, “shit, I didn’t do the whole introduction thing. Hannah and Owen are much better at that thing. Still tryna remember that Rebecca took off.”

Dani learned more about Rebecca Jessel from Hannah in the day. She got involved with someone who worked for Henry, Peter. But their relationship got toxic, she dumped him and then left Bly Manor to get away from everything and started anew. That was putting it short. Peter himself had never been seen since, he doesn’t even work for Henry anymore, he stole 200,000 pounds and was never to return but from what Dani gathered, there was no love loss in him going away. But Rebecca? Now that seemed to be a loss.

“I get it,” Dani reassured with a nod. “But you’re Jamie.”

Jamie pursed her lips into a faint smirk, she liked Dani’s awkwardness, she found it somewhat endearing. She simply nods “I am.”

“Hi.” Dani just breathes as she releases a smile. 

Jamie breaks out more into a warm look of her own, as said,  _ endearing _ . “Hi,” she leans forward and holds out her hand to shake, which Dani takes and does so after she shook herself out of her staring. Hoping that Jamie didn’t notice, which she didn’t much. 

“I didn’t think you’d still be here so late.”

Jamie shook her head as she pulled her hand back and turned to fussing over the flowers once more “Usually, I’m not.  _ But  _ my car is in the garage so Owen gave me a lift. He’s in the kitchen cleaning up. I'm just waiting on him.” 

“Oh, well...that’s nice of him.”

Jamie snorts lightly “Yeah he’s a delight,” she had this dry tone about her, her sarcasm was sharp as a tac, so much so that it was hard for Dani to actually get when she was joking or not. She looked to Dani once more, “Hannah says this is your first nanny gig. Brave of you, especially with those two.”

Dani laughed breathlessly and still rather nervously, trying to find her words that didn’t make her sound too naive or stupid. “Yeah well, I guess you could say the only experience I’ve had with it is watching Mary Poppins,”

There was a small silence as Jamie just went along with it in a nod.  _ Okay, so that was  _ **_exactly_ ** _ naive and stupid _ , Dani sighed to herself in her head. Before either of them could say anything to each other, there was a call from upstairs with Flora’s voice “Miss Clayton! I have finished brushing my teeth!” 

Their eyes went from looking up and back to resting on each other, Dani cleared her throat and smiled awkwardly as she started to edge herself to the staircase “Well, duty calls I guess.”

“Yep.” Jamie simply replies.

“Uh, then-goodnight I guess.”

Jamie nods “Yeah, night.”

Dani went up one step and then added in the same kindly sweet voice “Safe ride back home.”

The gardener just nodded once more with a grateful smile, her eyes following Dani as she turned and went up the stairs. Jamie couldn’t help it when she hummed to herself, she found the new au pair interesting to say the least, her bubbly and bright energy was one they certainly hadn’t had here in a long time, the mood of the manor completely shifted when the Lord and Lady died. Maybe Dani was exactly what this place needed.

She wiped her hands as she stepped away from the table and headed into the kitchen to see where Owen was at “Are you done in here or what?” 

Owen turned to her in the midst of his wiping down of the counter “Do you want a lift?” he then attempted a more northern accent to match Jamie’s when adding “ _ Or what _ ?” 

Jamie rolled her eyes and folded her arms as she leaned against the counter “Had a nice run in with the new nanny out there,” she looked to him as he gave her a concerned look “no, seriously, a  _ nice  _ run in. She’s very fucking polite.”

Owen broke out into a snort and a nod as he resumed wiping down the surface “That she is-”

“Too polite.”

“Nah, I think she’s lovely.” 

“Just hope those kids don’t do her in.”

“Oh give them a break, Jamie.”

“Fine. Just Miles. Either way she won’t last the summer, give her two weeks.” 

Owen lets out another chuckle “Okay, I understand you there he does have his moments.”

Jamie just hummed stiffly and got caught up once again in her own thoughts, her thoughts of Dani. Trying to make up her mind on what she thought of her based on the first exchange they had with each other just now. She was brought out of her thoughts when she saw Owen squinting to her “What?”

Owen shrugs as he tosses the now dirty rag in the small laundry basket by the sound of the counter “She seems to have made an impression on you.”

“Piss off.” Jamie scoffs with a laugh when looking away from him. 

“Oh. We are defensive.”

“Keep it up, mate. And I’ll embarrass you in front of Hannah.” Jamie says now with a smug smirk back on her face. Everyone knew how Owen and Hannah felt about each other, it just seemed that Jamie was the only one who was vocal enough to suggest such a thing. 

Owen just tilted his head to her with a plain expression, there was then a sudden loud commotion that came from upstairs, loud banging. Both their heads shot over to the sound, Jamie’s brows pinched together “The hell was that?” 

The two of them made their way out of the kitchen, the banging continuing and coming from upstairs. Owen called as they walked up “Kids?” 

“Dani!” Jamie called out, that being the first time that she’s actually said the new nanny’s name before. For reasons she couldn’t explain, she liked the way her name sounded on her tongue. They went the stairs and heard giggling amongst the banging, when they finally reached the children’s joint room, they came to see Miles and Flora giggling in his room and the banging to come from hers.

Jamie gave them both a stern look as she walked through the bathroom and went into Flora's room to see that the banging was coming from her closet door along with Dani shouting to be let out. Jamie let out an angered breath as she marched back in the room whilst Owen ran into Flora’s to give reassurance to Dani that they were going to get her out. “Give me the key,”

She noticed how Miles had his hands behind his back, of course he was the one to have him. She raised her brows with her palm out flat “Either give me the key or I grab you by your pissing legs and shake it out of you,”

Miles still remained quiet, with Dani’s muffled voice being heard now from her shouting, Jamie strained her hand out even further “Miles!” 

“It was only a joke.” Miles muttered now rather sheepishly as he brought the lock from behind his back and handed it to her.

“Well clearly it wasn’t funny,” Jamie seethed as she snatched the key from his hand and quickly made her way back into the door. “Owen. Shift.”

Owen moved away from the door as Jamie pushed the key through the lock and soon had it opened, her eyes met Dani’s as soon as she did, the young woman was practically shaking. Clearly she had a problem with confined spaces “You alright?” 

Dani just stared at her as she took deep breaths whilst she leaned against the shelves for a moment, then eventually nodding but not  _ actually  _ saying anything. Owen then stepped into her vision, he always did have a warmer approach “You okay, Dani?” his and reached forward and rested softly down on her arm. Something now Jamie felt like she should have immediately done. 

The two children were now behind Owen and Jamie, Flora peeped her head round “We’re awfully sorry, Miss Clayton.”

“We thought it was just a joke.” Miles added on. 

Jamie just gave him a glare whilst Dani still caught her bearings before she took in a step breath, the brunette’s head then turned back to her just as Dani walked out, her posture now stiff as though an attempt to keep her head held high. Dani looked at them both and just said quite simply yet firmly “Bed. Both of you.”

Jamie glances over to Owen who remains quiet, neither of them say anything. After all this is Dani’s department not there’s. Owen locks up the closet as the children do as Dani commands and takes themselves into bed now with their tails well and truly between their legs. 

Owen and Jamie both excused themselves out of the bedrooms, it was clear to see that Dani was determined to just carry on with her job as if that  _ brief  _ yet all the same terrifying moment didn’t just happen. They stayed out in the hallway, now in this sudden kind of awkward silence as they just waited...because after all they did feel now obligated to check in with Dani before they took off home. 

After around two minutes, Dani came outside “Thank you guys...for the help I-I guess they kinda got me on that one.”

“They’re little shits. I wouldn’t take it too hard,” Jamie boldly puts with a shrug, “they like pulling that crap on anyone. Makes you feel any better, Rebecca got the brunt of it when she was here too.”

To be fair, that did make Dani feel a bit better. Still, she doubted that neither Owen or Jamie had to rescue Rebecca from a panic attack stuck inside Flora’s wardrobe. Owen glanced between the two women before he shook his head with the clap of his hands “Don’t let this...put you off. They’re mischievous, in a nicer term.” 

“Yeah I’m starting to get that.” Dani breathes. 

There’s a small silence between the three of them before Owen clears his throat once more “Right, well. If you're sure you’re alright?”

“Oh I am.” Dani waved her hand, completely underplaying just how scared she actually was. Owen nods and looks at Jamie “Then we’ll be off.” 

Jamie keeps her eyes on Dani’s for a little longer, slowly raising her brows to her “You sure, yeah?” 

“Yeah, thanks.” Dani assured endearingly. Jamie takes it for what it was and simply nods. “Right, well, get some sleep, make sure you lock your door so those two can’t-”

“ _ Have  _ a lovely evening,” Owen quickly interrupts, glancing at Jamie for another moment and then tightening a smile to Dani. “You can relax now that they’re in bed.”

“I’m sure I will.” 

Jamie found the bright bubbly american hard to crack, she  _ seemed  _ perfectly fine which she did think was a front on but, God, Dani executed it so well. She and Owen took her at her word for being okay and quite simply left her to it. 

They made their way downstairs, switching off all the lights as they walked through the house, Owen locked up the front door with the spare set of keys that he had before he and Jamie got into his car, when they did, it went silent for a few moments as they both just tried to process everything that had just happened in the last ten minutes.

Owen let out a sigh “Right…well.” 

Jamie kept her eyes fixated forward on the house, looking at the one light shining through the window “Remember when I said before that I give her two weeks?”

Owen turned his head to her “Yeah?”

“Changed my mind?”

He looked at her with genuine curiosity, his tone going up a little higher with surprise “Really?”

Jamie nods wholeheartedly and then states in a blunt manner “Give her one.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! please don’t hesitate to drop comments below or a kudos if you enjoyed, this first chapter was mostly just a build up to get the ball rolling for the narrative so a lot of it was more close to the events in the first episode of bly but I start adding more content between the two of them in the future chapters. I hope this didn’t suck too much lmao.


	2. The Flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dani settles herself into Bly a little more, her new sense of authority with the children brings everyone to surprise, especially Jamie...who finds herself impressed by the young woman.

After the events of last night, Jamie was absolutely adamant that Dani wouldn’t last. It was as she said to Owen, Dani was polite, she was nice and sweet but also too much so. Flora by all accounts was a good kid, Miles was most times, but he had a bone for mischievous and stupid pranks. 

When Rebecca arrived, she was soft but held her own well. But with Dani, Jamie could see her breaking easier. Not to write her off or anything, she was merely preparing herself for going back to having to do both the gardens and the housework whilst Hannah took care of the children when looking for a new replacement. Jamie still didn’t understand why Henry Wingrave didn’t just have the children in his own care back in London instead of shipping them off here. 

Jamie woke up in her tiny bed in her tiny flat above the only pub in Bly. It was nearly always cold if she didn’t have her radiator on, which she didn’t a lot of the time because she needed the money for other things rather than heating. She changed out of her wooly jumper that she slept in and sweats, getting straight into her overalls and an oversized striped shirt to drape over. 

Fortunately her car was ready for her to pick up from the garage which was just a small walk, she didn’t like relying on people for things like lifts. She didn’t like relying on people for anything, she had been so used to taking care of herself from being a child that it was hard to take any kind of help these days. 

Jamie made her way down to the garage where her car was willing and waiting for her, she slapped the cash in the mechanic's hand “Thanks for this.” 

“No problem. It's like a new machine.”

“Let’s hope.” Jamie muttered as she got into the vehicle, for what she just handed over, it better be like a new machine, anymore cash and she’d expect it to fly. 

She kept her music out blasting from her radio as she made her way down. That’s another reason why she didn’t like getting lifts from people...she couldn’t put the stereo on full blast. Jamie turned up at the manor bright and early, she always got up before Owen arrived and before the kids and Hannah woke...and Dani now, she supposed. She went straight into the greenhouse to feed her precious plants that she always tended to every morning. She liked it in the greenhouse, it very much her quiet place where she can come to just think or simply  _ be _ . She rarely gets distrubed here. 

“Right,” she sighs under her breath as she moves through the greenhouse. “How’re we all doing then?” 

When getting into filling up the watering can and moving through each of her  _ subjects _ . The time really does also run away with her when she was in here, keeping herself occupied when feeding each plant with equal care and attention.

After tending to those plants, Jamie headed outside, putting on her apron and gloves and tended to the shitty weeds which had made their way onto the grounds. Fast little buggers. Before she even knew it and checked the clock, she’d been here already for two hours and she’d say she was well in time for a cup of tea, Owen and Hannah will be here by now anyway, and the children would be up. 

Jamie made her way back up inside the house, she traced her way into the kitchen with the surprise of seeing Hannah sat with Owen, usually she was cleaning round the house at this time. “What are you up to? Seem far too relaxed.”

“Hannah’s got the day off, it seems.” Owen simply put.

“Mm,” Hannah hummed. “The new missus put the children to it. All of it.”

Jamie couldn’t help but scoff with some genuine amusement as she took off her gloves “Yeah,” but when she looked over and noticed their silence, soon actually seeing that they weren’t in fact joking with her. “For real?”

Forgive her, but it sounded very hard to believe that Dani suddenly strapped on some authority as strict as making two rather spoilt children clean up around the house. Jamie liked the kids, but she always said they had been coddled too much even before they lost their parents but now? Now they were practically swaddled every night. And as Owen and Hannah just hummed again for confirmation, Jamie couldn’t help but smirk, truly impressed.

Jamie nodded and made her way over to the kettle “Good on her,” she reached over for a cup. “So what’ve you got planned for yourself then, Hannah? With your newly found freedom.”

“Oh I don’t know. I’ll probably check around the house in a little while, make sure they're not just stuffed rubbish into cupboards.” 

“I used to do that,” Jamie huffed a laugh, pouring the pater into her cup. “Still do if I’m being completely honest.”

Owen turned his head to her “And what about you? What do the great gardens have in store for you today?”

“Mostly all the fucking weeds need ripping out, plant some more Tulips-”

Jamie’s words came to a halt as she saw Dani walk in, her eyes not being able to help themselves as she looked at the blonde up and down for a quick second before turning back to the cup and added her milk in just as Hannah asked the au pair “How is everything?”

“Good! They’re doing great, might even be enjoying themselves a little.”

“You really didn’t have to do this, they’ve always had a tendency to be messy.”

“I know,” Dani sighs with the shrug of her shoulders, “but I think it’s good for them to learn a little about chores y’know?” 

Jamie just hummed in the background as her vocal way of showing her agreement, she turned with her cup now in her hands, seeing Dani’s eyes now on her. They looked at each other for a small silent second until Dani made her way over and addressed just her “I was actually looking for you.” 

“Oh yeah?” Jamie looked down to her steaming cup for a moment and then took her eyes back to the blonde, adding as she took the tea to her lips “For what?” 

Dani rubbed her lips together as she pondered on her words for a moment and then just came out and asked “Would you be okay if the children took over your garden duties today?”

Jamie. Nearly. Choked.  _ Never  _ did she think she would hear such a question. Jamie pinched her brows to her “You serious?”

Dani gently shrugs “Yeah, like I said I think this whole chore thing is good for them, even if it is just for today-and and you of course can supervise! I just...well I thought I’d offer for  _ us  _ to take care of it I guess, give you a chance to put your feet up. But if not then I totally get it.” 

There was a small silence between them, Jamie tapped her finger against her cup, genuinely debating the offer. She felt Owen and Hannah’s eyes on her almost in horror, Jamie doesn’t let anyone go near her plants, once Owen tripped on a stone and nearly landed in her roses, Jamie almost ripped him in two for the endangerment he caused. Both of them were ready for Jamie to decline the offer. 

But when Jamie looked back to the blonde and caught onto her eyes once more, she released a small sigh and shrugged herself when nodding “Alright. Yeah, why not?” 

The way Dani’s eyes brightened up set off a warm kind of fuzzy feeling in the pit of Jamie’s stomach that she didn’t even allow herself to really truly notice, but it was there all the same, even more so when Dani smiled “Really? Great! I meant it about the supervision though, I’ll need your keen eye.”

A small chuckle ripped from the back of Jamie’s throat “Yeah you got it, it’s mostly just weeds that need ripping out and some buds need soiling.”

“That we can do.”

Jamie kept a soft smirk when nodding once more. “Yeah well, trust me I’ll be watching.” 

_ Did that come across as flirty?  _ She genuinely didn’t mean it to be, she literally meant that she’ll be watching the children handle her garden. Of course Dani will be there so ultimately she would  _ technically  _ be watching her too but...she didn’t mean it like that. Dani seemed to think nothing of it, simply giggled in the same delicate manner she always carried “Good. I’ll go get them when they’re done with the rest.”

Jamie just nodded to her once more and watched her walk away, Owen also waited until she was gone before he looked over to Jamie and exclaimed a “ _ What! _ ”

“What?”

Hannah turned in her chair “I think Owen is just rather gobsmacked that you’re letting someone near your precious flower bed.”

“Yeah cause I really love pulling weeds out,” Jamie scoffed, “not like they’re fiddling with my roses, is it? I’d much rather sit back and have someone else pull those fucking things.” 

Jamie brought the cup of tea to her lips once again and enjoyed it a little bit more, knowing that for at least the next hour or so she would be inclined to a rest. Thanks to Dani, that was.

* * *

“How are they doing?” Dani calls over as she assists Flora with ripping out the weeds whilst Miles plants the needed buds behind.

Jamie watches from a far at the garden table set beside Hannah, she flashed the blonde an impressed look, forming her hand into an  _ okay  _ as she kept her arm rested down on her tucked up knee “Perfectly,” she broke out into a chuckle and tilted her head when faintly adding “I could get used to this.”

She rested her head back against the chair, her eyes following Dani as she went and checked on Miles, Jamie stared at her, quite literally couldn’t keep her eyes off her. There was just... _ something _ about her that made Jamie’s eyes just glue to her. Her mind was pulled away from focusing on Dani as she heard Hannah sigh “Oh, I don’t know, I feel lazy. Like some sort of lazy layabout.”

Jamie on the other hand absolutely had no regrets jumping at the chance of putting her feet up “You’re loving having this wee break.”

“I suppose. I just don’t like seeing them punished is all. They’re not the first to track mud through the halls. You should know. Everytime I see you marching towards the house, I find my hand drifting towards the mop.”

“Firstly. I always wipe my feet, I’ll have you know. And secondly,” Jamie’s eyes wandered back over to Dani. “What about when they locked her in a closet?”

“Oh, now, you can’t blame them for that-”

“You didn’t see her, Hannah,” Jamie shook her eyes when looking back to her, her head shaking even further “seriously, she was petrified. She was in there for a couple minutes and she was scared bloody stiff.”

“I’m not saying what they did was right but they didn’t know she’d get so frightened.”

“They should’ve opened the door as soon as she started banging,” Jamie’s voice suddenly went quite firm, facing forward and putting her eyes to Dani once more. “She didn’t deserve that.”

“I know. But given what they’ve lost, acting out is expected.”

Jamie couldn't help but roll her eyes and say in a more light hearted tone “You can’t give them a pass forever. Look, you clean up after them, Owen feeds them-Rebecca, when she was here she just coddled them…” a smirk rests on her lips when nodding forward to Dani. “But this one? No one is as shocked as me but she’s got them doing hard labor already.” 

“Oh, come on, now.”

“What? That shite works! Well it worked on me! Look at me now,” Jamie chuckled, throwing out a smirk as she loosely tugged on her shirt “I’m a shining beacon of reform.” 

The two of them broke out into a laugh just as Owen came over with Jamie order. A Gin and Tonic, now that it was past twelve...only  _ just _ mind, she was in need for one. With a G&T beside her and a lit cigarette in her mouth, it was fair to say this wasn’t a bad days work “So, Owen…” she blew out a puff of her smoke, thinking back to Owen’s teasing last night and remembering how she told him she’d get her own back. “Thoughts on the new au pair.”

Owen shot her a glance with the roll of his eyes as Hannah tutted “Gossip.” 

“What? Just Christian concern, Hannah. All right, fine. On a scale of one to American,” another smirk crept onto Jamie’s lips, “how would you rate her?” 

Hannah and Owen both said in unison without even a second waiting.  _ American _ . Jamie giggled when looking back forward. “There we have it.” 

Dani looked over to the three of them once again, she did wonder what they were talking about. If they were talking about her...if Jamie was talking about her, when she looked over she saw them looking at her, Owen’s warm face locking to hers as he pointed to a glass of the G&T which she presumed he meant one to be for her, but then her eyes shifted to Jamie, who tilted her head at her again, her smile was soft and  _ kind _ , the gardener waved at her which did in fact cause unexplained butterflies to flip at the bottom of Dani’s stomach. She longed for Jamie’s approval, she found her intimidating and magnetic. She wanted Jamie to like her. 

Jamie studied Dani for a few seconds longer and found herself saying before she even realised that she  _ was  _ saying it. “Though, maybe a bit too pretty,” realising how that sounded, she thought fast and deflected another tease on the poor chef. “Do you think she’s pretty, Owen?” 

“Jamie!” Hannah exclaimed as if Jamie had just come out with some big scandalised statement. What Jamie really wanted to say was that she thought Dani was absolutely stunning, that she had only known her for practically a  _ day  _ but she could tell already that Dani was the kind of girl that would light up a whole room by her smile alone. That’s what she  _ wanted  _ to say. But instead, she just teased Owen to hide her own attraction, because she didn't want to seem stupid by already growing the feelings that she was, it was a seed that she couldn't let flower...because all that would do was bloom for disappointment.

And although Jamie knew that Owen didn’t fancy Dani or had any feelings for her at all, she knew that asking him such a question will make him go all awkward and stumble, especially in front of Hannah, which means Jamie had succeeded in getting her payback for how he made Jamie nearly blush last night when talking about the new nanny “Look at him! He’s tongue tied,” Jamie burst out into further giggles, pouting when giving him a nudge with her boot, “he can’t answer.” 

“It’s just romances don’t fare well at Bly, do they?” Hannah concluded. 

Even though they were just joking, Jamie did wonder if Hannah had a point to that. Work relationships were always a dodgy business to get into, though she could imagine that for some people it would work. It takes just one person to be worth the leap. Though Jamie imagined she’d never get to know for herself. 

* * *

It had been a good day as far as it went with the children. A part of Dani was worried that she would push them too hard in doing the jobs around the house, that they’d resent her for it. Even though she wanted to teach them a lesson she still of course wanted them to like her, to feel like they could confide in her. That’s what her job was after all. 

But both of the children said they’d enjoyed it, that it made a change. Though she imagined they wouldn’t want it to be a regular occurrence. Leaving Miles to continue pulling out the remaining weeds, Dani returned to her room to freshen up. When opening the door she saw Flora sitting in front of her suitcase, her eyes cast around the room and noticed the sudden neatness around the place and it certainly wasn’t her that did it “Flora, you cleaned!” 

She didn’t even ask for her room to be cleaned, she would never go that far...that would be an abuse of power, she thinks. “Well, how sweet of you.” 

“You’re welcome. I put all your things into the wardrobe and chest of drawers,” the little girl turned around for Dani to see that Flora was wearing the glasses. His glasses. The ones that she always took everywhere of which she had no idea why...when she was packing they just found themselves in there, she didn’t even know that she had done it...but she didn’t take them out. For some reason she didn’t take them out, and now they linger around her. He still haunts her here.

Given the clear colour drain on Dani’s face, Flora got rather sheepish and concerned “Are you cross with me?” 

Dani snapped herself out of her feared gaze, still not being able to find words and instead simply shaking her head. Flora stood to her and removed the glasses “I-I found these, too. I didn’t break them. I promise! They were like this already.”

“I know, don’t worry it’s okay-it’s fine.” Dani managed to say as she gently took the glasses from the little girl’s hands, taking them over to the dresser and putting them down, staring at the crack in the glass with a flash of memories suddenly coming through her mind. Dani shut her eyes for a moment with her back still to Flora, as if the memory hurt her...which, in a lot of ways, it did. 

Suddenly she felt her body rile up, she could feel the panic hit up into her chest like it did that very night. She needed to cry, she was going into a panic attack but she couldn’t do it in front of Flora, she couldn’t scare her like that. And so she excused herself, walking out the room, down the stairs and out to the front of her house all the while just telling herself to hold it in, just hold it in for a few seconds longer until she was alone.

And then, when she was, she let it all pour out. Dani wanted this to be over, she really hoped and prayed that moving into a different  _ country _ would stop her from seeing him. In the midst of her gasping and sobbing, she heard Jamie’s voice come up from behind her, speaking up in genuine care and concern. “You all right?” 

_ Oh God _ . Dani could take being found crying by perhaps Hannah or Owen, but Jamie? Well now she was just embarrassed. Dani gripped onto the back of her neck and nodded heavily “Uh-yeah I just...I was just caught...Flora she…”

“Thought they were doing alright.”

“No-no they were just…” Dani glanced at Jamie and shrugged, shaking her head as she looked down. “She didn’t do anything wrong. I just got a little...overwhelmed by something.”

“I get that. People can run you ragged...that’s why I prefer plants. Easy to get along with.”

Dani wiped beneath the tip of her nose and turned her head back to Jamie “Yeah?”

“Course. And if I find I don’t like one, one looks at me kind of funny. I can always know,” Jamie lightened the load in Dani’s heart when making her chuckle as she mocked the slitting of a throat and then going onto saying “So, if it’s child-rearing advice you’re after, I’d just...start there, maybe,”

Dani laughed out a little more, hearing Jamie’s tone soften even more “There we are. It’s not so bad, right?”

“I guess not.” 

“Look,” Jamie took a step forward, standing beside Dani as she too now leaned against the small wall “I know with the shit the kids pulled last night and all and with you getting like this might make you feel shit but if it makes you feel any better. I cry three, maybe four times a day around here... _ five _ , if I’m really being honest with myself. How else do you think I keep these fucking plants watered? With my endless well of deep, inconsolable tears.”

Another laugh bust out from the back of Dani’s throat “Well with me around now, maybe I can start helping you out with that.”

“Could always use some extra tears, sure,” Jamie smiled softly when looking back to Dani, watching the blonde as she smiled softly and looked down to the ground for a moment, Jamie tilted her head, “my point is...you’re doing great. Oi,” she gives Dani a soft nudge with her elbow, having Dani look at her, their eyes locking back to each other as Jamie softness once more and assures once again. “You’re doing great.”

“Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Jamie nods to her, a small silence then growing between the two of them as their looks on each other linger a bit more up until Jamie cleared her throat and stood herself back up. “Right,” she walks back over to her buckets and picks them up “Well, back to it, then.”

Jamie stands back up straight and looks to Dani once more “Chin up,  _ Poppins _ .”

Dani couldn’t help the smile that came to her face.  _ Poppins _ . She rather liked that, in fact, she liked it a lot. It wasn’t Jamie teasing her in any way, she was saying as some kind of endearment to cheer her up...and it worked. Dani’s eyes followed Jamie as she made her way back into the house, turning to see her heading to the door “Jamie,”

Much like the first time Jamie said Dani’s name...Dani liked the way Jamie’s name tasted on her tongue, her heart fluttering when the gardener turned to her, Dani settled a warm look “I mean it...thank you.”

Jamie just tightened a smile to her and gave her another nod, but she didn’t say anything, she just carried on into the house, leaving Dani alone again where she can let out a calmer breath than before, feeling a whole new kind of gratitude for Jamie finding her and talking her down...it had been a while since she had someone do that for her. 

* * *

Considering how nice Jamie was with her before, Dani really wasn’t looking forward to her next encounter with her, because she knew that it wasn’t going to lead to anything good. Miles put together some roses to give to Dani as a gift, it was quite an innocent act that he had taken out..but he didn’t exactly realise the extent to what he had done. 

As soon as he left the flowers for her, she got a sick feeling in her stomach because where else would he have gotten the roses, than Jamie’s garden? As soon as she found Jamie, who was clipping one of the hedges neat, Dani blurted from her nerves “I need to tell you something.”

Jamie looked at her oddly, snipping off another one of the uneven twigs “Right?”

Dani glances to the very sharp shears in Jamie’s hands “You might want to...put those down.”

“Well now you’re just making me nervous,” Jamie dryly remaked before she then dropped them to the floor, shrugging her shoulders when removing her gloves. “Alright, shears gone. What’s up?”

The blonde swallowed thickly and tried to tread carefully “So. Miles...may have gotten carried away.”

“What d’you mean?” 

“He gave me some flowers,” Dani nodded frantically with her still nerves, Jamie still not exactly getting it all that well until Dani just added in a rushed statement. “Roses.”

Jamie cocked her head up for a moment with curiosity. And then after another second or so, it clicked, and her face turned cold which did in fact scare Dani inside. The brunette slowly raised her angered brows “Roses.”

Dani tried to speak up to defuse Jamie’s already boiled anger, but it was  _ far  _ too late. Jamie was pissed and already marching her way to the main garden and all that Dani could do was follow her and make sure that she didn't blow her top, though when they got to the garden, it did look pretty bad...and Jamie’s silence scared her more than it would if she just held. Dani hung back, holding onto herself as Jamie knelt down and took hold of one of the fallen flowers. 

Jamie did speak eventually, though nothing that was promising. “The little shit.”

“Hey.” Dani warmed calmly,  _ really  _ not wanting Jamie to lose her cool.

But it was obvious by the firm and stern “Little  _ fucking  _ shit.”

“Hey, he’s just a kid.” Dani’s attempts at defusing the situation clearly failed as Jamie dropped the flower back down to the floor and assured when standing back up “I’m gonna kill him,” an angered chuckle slipped from her mouth “I swear to  _ god _ -”

Dani stepped forward and took hold of Jamie’s shoulder, turning her back to face her “No. Hey, they’re just a few flowers.”

“Oh sure,” Jamie retorted, “well that’s fine then.”

“A little boy cut a few flowers. What’s the big deal?”

Jamie couldn’t help herself as she burst out of her boiled anger “They weren’t ready to be cut!” she kind of hated herself immediately, she knew that Dani was just trying to calm her down, but right now she’d rather be allowed to be annoyed. Still, she dropped into a sigh to calm herself down and speaks again on a more settled level. “Look, I just...I have a way of doing things, and I don’t like people messing about in my garden.”

“No, you’re right,” Dani suddenly agrees, completely taking Jamie by surprise but Dani sticks to her guns before she firmly assures “I’ll talk to him. Tell him it was wrong, I know I can’t fix the flowers but I’ll handle him.” 

Really, at this point, that was all that Jame could ask for. Jamie let out a small sigh “Course…” she still felt bad, she couldn’t help it. “Look, could we just go back to the bit where, uh, you were acting mental and I had to talk  _ you  _ down?”

Dani let out a laugh as she sunk her hands into the back pockets of her jeans, then letting out a small sigh of her own “I’m sorry...really, about the flowers. I should’ve watched him-”

“It’s not your fault. Seriously I was all for them ripping out the weeds and shit. Honestly, Dani. Don’t apologise. I’m sorry for just blowing my top at you then.” 

“I’d be pretty mad too if I were you, don’t worry about it.” Dani waved her hands in gentle gentle dismal. 

“No I shouldn’t snap at you, like I said it’s not your fault.” 

Dani smiled at her warmly, tilting her head as the brunette gripped to the back of her neck “Do you want to stay for dinner? There’s plenty to go around.”

“Might do,” Jamie dropped her hands back down to her sides. “Haven’t decided yet, might just head back to my flat after cleaning up the greenhouse.” 

“You live far?” Dani engaged in further conversation as they walked back out of the garden, with Jamie shaking her head “Just in town. Live above the only pub we’ve got, it’s small and shite but it does it’s job.”

“Well, like I said there’s plenty to go around and don’t worry about all this I’ll make him clean all this up right away, it’ll be like it never happened come tomorrow.”

“Apart from the missing roses.”

“Well...yeah apart from that.” Dani stumbled a light and all the same still awkward laugh, holding her hands tightly together as they continued to head back further towards the house, hearing Jamie let out a soft sigh “You’ve done a good job with them today though, Roses aside.”

“You think?”

“Yeah. I’m not a dick, I get the pain they’ve gone through and they’re just kids they should never have to deal with...but ever since it happened...they’ve had zero guidance. Henry was supposed to look after them and instead he just shipped em’ off here where they could do what they wanted. They’re good kids...but they need guidance,” 

Dani couldn’t help but wonder, by the way Jamie was talking, if she was speaking from some kind of experience, the look on her face as she went silent for a moment to ponder on her own words did suggest so, but Dani didn’t ask. It wasn’t her place. Jamie just glanced at Dani and cleared her throat, “so yeah I’d say you did good with them.”

“Well thank you.”

“Plus they deserved it after the closet thing.”

Dani once again stammered out an awkward laugh as she scratched the back of her neck “Yeah that was...embarrassing. I don’t do well in small spaces.”

“I don’t do well with heights,” Jamie shrugged. “We’ve all got fears and demons. Nothing to be embarrassed of.” 

The blonde looked back to the gardener once more, who gave her yet another comforting look before she looked back forward and carried on walking towards the house. 

It wasn’t that Dani didn’t expect Jamie to be so kind...but she certainly didn’t think of her being as comforting of a person as she has been to Dani for the past day...but of course, she has no idea that really Jamie wasn’t always like this. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! please don’t hesitate to drop comments below or a kudos if you enjoyed they really help with motivation and self-crippling insecurity :)


	3. The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Flora insists with fear she's seen a dangerous animal on the grounds, Dani can't resist but go and help Jamie scan the grounds, with a big storm just around the corner which has Owen and Jamie stuck to spend the night.

Jamie did in fact stay for dinner and it started to fall dark, the nights were getting darker sooner and sooner now with it swifting into Autumn. As she went to the hall to put her coat on, she heard a scream come from upstairs, a scream that was no doubt coming out of Flora’s mouth, either that or Dani screams like an eight year old.

She hung back in the main hall, with Owen walking out of the kitchen “What was that all about?” 

Leaning against the table, Jamie shrugged a shoulder with her eyes still upstairs as she heard Hannah as what the  _ commotion  _ was about along with Dani asking Flora what was wrong. “Dunno.”

The two of them remained in the hall with keen eyes and ears as Flora and Miles then came running down the stairs with Dani and Hannah following, Flora  _ shrieking  _ “Wolf! It was a wolf.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t.” Hannah sighed. 

Owen looked at the two women curiously “What’s going on?”

Dani put her hands to her hips as they reached the bottom of the stairs and let out a small sigh of exhaustion “Flora thinks that she’s seen a wolf out on the grounds.”

Jamie looked down to the child who rushed over to her, Jamie dropped her hand gently down on Flora’s head “A wolf? Don’t think so.”

“It was!”

Jamie kept a soft voice, smoothing her hand down the back of the little girl’s head to rest on her shoulder, “Flora, there’s no wolves in England, never mind in Bly.” 

“But I surely saw it! Oh please go look!” 

“I thought I saw something too,” Miles vouched, “though I can’t say clearly what.” 

Owen sighed a small smile to them “I’m sure it’s nothing, you two.” 

“But what if it gets in!” Flora cries. Jamie let out a breath of her own and looked up to the three of them “I can always pop out. Put their minds at rest...plus,” she looked down to the girl and played a little with her own beliefs “If it is a big scary wolf, I’ll have to clear it off.” 

Hannah shook her head “Oh there’s no need and you want to set off.”

“Oh no please, Jamie!” Flora begged, her eyes were red so clearly she had been given a right, “I won’t be able to sleep.”

“Well we can’t have that can we?” Jamie glanced back to Dani for a moment before her eyes went back down to the child, “best to give Miss Clayton an easy night,” as Dani gave her a gentle tug of a smile, Jamie looked back over to Hannah and shook her head with a light sigh as she put her hand back on the top of Flora’s head. “Really it’s fine, I’ll take a look.”

To distract them, Owen clapped his hands and suggested to the children for them to follow him into the kitchen for a treat of hot chocolate which should keep them quiet for now whilst Jamie goes out to search for the mythical wolf that was apparently roaming the grounds. 

Dani noticed how Jamie disappeared for a small moment only to return with a rifle in her hand, the blonde stared at the gun in brief shock before she looked up and said as the brunette passed her to the front door “You’re seriously going?”

“Just for a few minutes.”

Dani followed her to the door as Jamie opened it. “On your own? I mean is that safe?”

Jamie turned her head back to Dani with an amused small smirk on her lips at Dani’s implication, she shook her head and said in a quieter voice “Dani...you do know there isn’t actually a wolf, right?” 

Dani’s cheeks almost went red from the sudden embarrassment, falling over her words once again “Y-yes of course,  _ but _ -”

“She’s probably just seen a shadow of the trees or something. I’m gonna go for a wander for a few minutes, come back and say there’s nothing here, maybe I’ll take a shot to make it sound like I’ve killed something. Either way, 

don’t worry,” Jamie gently lifted the gun, “I’m good.” 

“Right...of course.” Dani clears her throat and tightens an awkward smile, to which Jamie just nods and walks out the door, with Dani closing it beside her. Well, that was rather embarrassing, of course she didn’t think there was a wolf but...you know...the grounds in the dark are scary. For Dani. Clearly Jamie wasn’t scared all too easily. 

Dani joined the children in the kitchen with Owen and Hannah, she sat down at the table as Owen and Hannah filled distractions in the room for Flora especially not to worry about this wolf business, but it did no good for Dani, because for whatever reason, Jamie being out there on her own made Dani nervous. What if Flora had seen something? Maybe not exactly a wolf but...something else dangerous? Jamie was right by thinking she was being stupid, she was being stupid. Still, stupidity didn’t stop worrying.

As a few minutes went round the clock, Dani grew more impatient and found herself getting up. “I’m gonna go do a sweep outside. Make sure everythings alright.”

Owen looked up to her and shrugged as he held a cup of the hot chocolate in his hands “I’m sure it’s fine. Jamie can handle herself, she’s good like that.”

“Yeah I know just...well two pair of eyes are better than one, just gonna see how it’s going.” 

“Be careful!” Flora insisted “Oh please don’t go out there on your own.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll take some protection.” Dani reassured with a sweet whisper before then leaving the kitchen, the only thing she deemed fit to find in case coming into anything nasty was the fire poker from the living room. She had a torch and her jacket and went on her way out. 

* * *

It was a  _ lot  _ darker than she thought it was going to be, the torch didn’t help all too well and even worse she had no idea where Jamie was, she hadn’t heard any kind of steps or shootings. Dani didn’t like to admit she was scared of the dark, but being outside in the dark? Yes that did scare her a little. 

“Jamie?” Dani found herself calling out in a still hushed voice. She groaned to herself as she stepped further through the grounds, scaring herself every so often from the human-like statues that were dotted around the place. 

She kept her arm extended out with her torch held in front of her, getting more and more on edge, Dani made a turn and had the life scared out of her when she suddenly had Jamie and her gun pointed at her, she couldn’t help the scream that came out of her. Jamie then also jumped herself and exhaled a heavy “Jesus.” When lowering down her gun and Dani breaking out the same cuss. 

Jamie let out a breath with the rifle now down and shook her head “The hell are you doing out here?” 

“Looking for you.” 

“Why?” Jamie scoffed.

“You’ve been out here for a while, that’s all.” 

“Yeah well, actually heard something.”

Dani’s head snapped to her as they now stood side by side “Are you serious?”

“You think I want to stay out here in the fuckin’ cold?” Jamie asked plainly, looking forward and letting out a small sigh. “Don’t know what I saw, still don’t think it’s a wolf,” she scoffed in a lighter tone. “Though I gotta love Flora’s imagination...could be a dog. Stray or something but if it’s rabbid then I’d have to-”

“I really hope it’s not.”

“You’re telling me…” Jamie looked to Dani and then admitted in a mumble, “fucking love dogs.”

As Dani couldn’t help the somewhat endearing look that Jamie didn’t see as she turned, she nodded further down the grounds “You looked down there yet?”

Jamie looked back over her shoulder to Dani and once she saw the blonde shake her head, they both started walking in that direction. “Kids still with Hannah and Owen?”

“Yeah, he made them hot chocolate.”

“That’ll shut Flora up.”

“You really didn’t have to do this you know...I know you were just about to leave.”

“Yeah but until someone came out here Flora wouldn’t stop banging on about it, trust me. Besides, if it is a dog or something, does need to be sorted.”

“I guess.” 

There was then a sudden nose of a thunder crack above their heads, Jamie looked up to the sky “Oh you’ve got to be kidding. Storm was said to be tomorrow.”

“A storm?”

“One of the worst for this year,” Jamie groaned again. “If there’s anything out here it better show itself fast before the rain gets in.”

They walked a little further, towards the chapel and seeing it lit up in the window, Hannah had left the candles she lit for the Wingrave’s still alight. Jamie nodded to Dani for them to go in. “Hannah’s left them burning. She’s always lighting and forgetting ‘em. The place will burn down one of these days.”

Jamie walked down the aisle and blew the two candles out, Dani looked outside and heard a rustle “Jamie,” she whispered, looking to the brunette who made her way back down towards her “I heard something.”

Jamie took a better grip of the rifle once again and quietly crept out of the church, she listened carefully and when she heard the rustle for herself, she quickly turned around the corner and pointed the gun, with the help of Dani flashing the light, they both let out a sigh when seeing what it was “That’ll explain it. Just a fox.” 

Dani stared at the fox and kept her voice quietly “You’re...you’re not gonna-”

“No. They’re harmless...just don’t go pet it.” 

Dani exhaled a small laughing breath, Jamie lowered her gun back down and turned to Dani, looking down to her arm for a moment “Um, Dani?

“Yeah?”

“You can let go of my arm now.”

Dani then too looked down and only just noticed that she was gripped onto Jamie’s arm, she quickly pulled her hand back “Oh! Right, sorry.”

With another sound of thunder creeping in, Jamie sighed “We better get inside,” and just a few seconds after, the rain suddenly came down hard. “Shit.”

They both threw their jackets over their heads and ran back into the house, it was coming down  _ hard _ . Thunder cracked more with lightning then flashing over their heads, luckily they managed to get back to the house fairly dry, their jackets however were drenched, and that was from the small distance from the chapel to the house alone. 

Dani turned to Jamie as they stepped in and held out her hand “Here,” she saw how Jamie looked at her oddly and quickly clarified, “your jacket. I’ll go dry it off with mine in front of the fire.”

“Oh, yeah ok. Thanks.” Jamie handed over the jacket.

“Hopefully it’ll be dry before the storm passes.”

Jamie simply nodded and made her way into the kitchen as Dani quickly went into the living room, when Jamie stepped in, Flora’s head practically snapped to her “Did you see it!”

Jamie hummed with a small slow nod, Hannah and Owen’s faces then dropping when Owen said with some dread “Seriously?”

“Oh yeah, it was a really big  _ fox _ ,” Jamie said with raised brows and brief wide eyes at the young girl, laughing softly when nodding her reassurance, “it was a fox, Flora.”

“A fox? Are you sure?”

“Very. And foxes, by all accounts aren’t that bad so he’s gone on his way, especially now with that storm coming in,” Jamie sat down and reached for a biscuit, looking back to Flora and whispering with a confident wink “I’m sure he’s already on his way back home.” 

“Do you swear?” 

Jamie held up three fingers to her and nodded.  _ Scout’s Honour. _ Hannah then gently sighed as she registered her hearings to the banging rain outside, hitting on the windows “Well I’m afraid it might get uglier out there.”

Jamie just glanced over to Owen who shrugged to her “We can give it a little while if it dies down. Hot chocolate?” 

The brunette just nodded whilst Owen slid her a cup in the meantime whilst they waited. Jamie looked to Dani in the corner of her eye as she sat down beside her, the glancing ever so quickly as she thanked Owen for the cup that he also gave her. 

“Oh yes! Perhaps you both could stay and we could have a sleepover?” Flora gushed, her expression bright at the idea, with Miles then nodding with just as much jest “Yes! A sleepover, that would be fun.”

“I don’t know about a sleepover,” Jamie gently put, then glancing again to Dani who just looked at her, the brunette rubbed her lips together and looked back to the children “But we can stay till the storm passes, you might be asleep when that happens anyway.” 

“You shouldn’t be driving out there when it’s like that anyway,” Hannah put gently “far too dangerous.”

“Well then, that’s settled. The boss’s word is final.” Owen playfully teased with Hannah just rolling her eyes whilst still having a smile on their face. 

Jamie slouched back in her chair “Owen. Your mum?” 

Owen waved his hand in gentle dismal “I’ll call up Mr McQueeny next door to pop in. She’ll be fine, might be glad from the night off from me.”

And with that Jamie simply shrugged,  _ fine _ , she thought. It wasn’t exactly like it was going to hurt. 

* * *

The storm went on. And on...and on...And.  _ On _ . Everyone reconvened to the living room where Hannah put the fire on, Miles and Flora sat in front of it. Their excitement over the potential sleepover lasted quite a while, with laughter and joy until they ended up spread out on the floor fast asleep. 

Hannah and Dani were sitting in the armchairs of the living room whilst Jamie was on the couch when Owen came in and told the gardener that he just heard on the radio that it was being advised for no one to travel during the storm. 

“Right,” Jamie sighed. “Well. Sleepover it is then,” she looked to the two children, “though it seems the excitement for it has run its course.”

“Oh they’ve loved having you both here.” Hannah stated with a warm hum. 

“Yeah...and it’s been nice,” Dani started, then glancing at Jamie and clearing her throat, “for Hannah and I. Having some adult company.”

“Speaking of…” Owen reached over to the bottle of whiskey that was kept in a cupboard, coming over and going to pour it in Hannah’s now  _ tea _ which she refused, she wasn’t much of a drinker...but Jamie was, she swiped a cup and had it filled for her as soon as Owen came to sit down beside her. 

Hannah sunk back into her chair and looked back to the children “Been a while since they had a night like this...they’ve had fun.”

“Oh yeah, he’s had a right good day in my garden.” Jamie uttered when looking over to Miles, who was much more manageable when like this. Sleeping.

“Now, now.” Hannah chuckled.

“He did apologise, right?” Dani questioned as she took her eyes to Jamie across the way “I told him what he did was wrong and he said he’d apologise.”

“Yeah he did, caught me before I was supposed to leave. He actually offered to do some other work across the grounds to make up for it but I told him to leave it...not risking him messing up the rest of my land.”

“Oh,” Owen chirped up, “ _ your land _ is it?”

“You know what I mean.” Jamie rolled her eyes, catching to see Dani let out a small laugh before she shook her head and looked back to the children herself, then Jamie just found herself staring at the blonde for a few moments longer, long enough to watch her as she spoke up herself. “Yeah well. Hopefully today taught them a little something...most important thing was that they had fun whilst doing it I guess.” 

The rest were in agreement on her words. Further on the conversations went, an hour or so past and the dynamic in the room shifted...well everyone apart from Jamie that was, she stayed firmly in her place on the sofa. But instead, it was now Dani who was sat beside Jamie as Owen and Hannah sat beside each other, Hannah then being the first of them to fall asleep...right on Owen’s shoulder.

Dani was busy looking down at a photo when she heard Jamie tease a whisper to her “Rather that was you curled up there?”

Dani turned her head to Jamie, who nodded over to Owen and Hannah, then being pretty surprised that Jamie suggested such a thing, she had never shown any interest in Owen because, well, outside of friendship she had no interest in him  _ like that _ . Jamie didn’t even know herself if she thought Dani did, more like her way of finding out. But she mostly presumed because most women in town wanted a piece of women, barring her of course.

“Every girl in the village is mad for him,” Jamie comments with her eyes still on the chef and housekeeper, “he doesn’t even know it, which makes it even worse.”

Dani couldn’t help but chuckle. Well, how ironic of Jamie to say, making fun of Owen for not seeing right in front of him when girl’s liked him when in reality here Jamie was...not even seeing it for herself. Dani just shook her head, “Well as much as I’m sure you’re right about other women...I'm fine where I am.”

Jamie, still clueless, just glanced over to her and tweaked a smile whilst telling herself that Dani won’t be meaning it how she would like. She glanced down to the photo “What’ve you got there?”

Dani glanced at her for a moment and then looked back to it “Oh! I...Flora she had it in her coat pocket from today. I take it that they’re-”

“Rebecca and...fucking Peter.”

“Seems no one is a fan.”

“If you knew him you’d get it.” Jamie huffed as she took a sip of her tea.

“On here they look like...Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Oh yeah, regular Romeo and Juliet. If Romeo was a twat Or if Clyde fucked Bonnie over.” 

Dani giggled for a gentle moment before she turned her head to Jamie and said in a softer yet more serious tone “Was he really that bad?”

“I just…” Jamie stared at the photo with a stern look in her eyes, “I watched him take her apart piece by piece, dig his claws into her so much that he made her question everything she did.”

“She just took it?”

Jamie nodded heavily and flickered her eyes up to Dani “The wrong kind of love can fuck you up. Follow you. Make you do some really  _ stupid _ shit…” she swallowed thickly and looked away for a moment, she cleared her throat and shifted back on subject, “and those two...believe me, that was the wrong kind of love.” 

“We’ve all been in the wrong kind of love for one reason or-”

“Yeah but I saw how he twisted himself in her. Burrowed in deep. I don’t know why so many people mix up love and possession...but guess what that means? He didn’t just trap her. He trapped himself. So when she finally turned around and got the guts to leave...it fucking ruined him. And I hope it still is ruining him, I hope his claws have been ripped off so he can never dive in with another girl again.” 

Dani stared at Jamie for a fair few seconds, in somewhat awe and curiosity. She admired Jamie for how much she stood up for Rebecca, Dani didn’t even know that even she appreciated that...and the curiosity because it felt like that ran deeper than Peter. She glanced back down to the photo for a moment and then thought to herself...to her own ghost over her head. How in some way, he still possessed a part of her.

And just like that, she turned her head back to Jamie “People do, don’t they? Mix up love and possession.”

Jamie’s eyes locked and lingered onto hers, staying silent for a small second before finally she found a response “Yeah they do.”

“I don’t think that should be possible,” Dani’s voice felt fair and soft “I mean, they’re opposites, really. Love and ownership.”

It was now Jamie who was looking at her in some kind of awe, and genuine surprise by how well she got it. Sudden flashbacks came running through her head of her younger life. Of being grabbed by the arm and then back handed across her cheek after demanding to be  _ let the fuck go _ . But Dani? Forgive her, but she didn’t think that Dani would get it...but as it was becoming evident, there was so much more to this new au pair than she was giving her credit. “Yeah…”

Their eyes remained on each other and both of them suddenly got this secret feeling in the pit of their stomachs just how easy it would be right now to lean forward and capture themselves in a kiss. But with neither one of them knowing how the other felt, it wasn’t going to happen. 

“They really ought to be in bed.” Hannah’s voice suddenly came into play which broke them out of their staring.  _ Gazing _ . Dani threw the blanket from her body “Oh, yes,” she and Jamie got to their feet “I’ll take them.”

Before Dani reached Flora as Hannah woke Miles, she watched in  _ more  _ admiration as Jamie knelt down beside the young girl and scooped her up in her arms, muttering a small “ _ C’mon, _ ” under her breath. Jamie got to her feet with Flora now in her arms, Dani smiling to her with gratitude “Thank you.”

Jamie gave her a quick smile before she looked down to Flora who woke up ever so slightly, took her eyes up to Jamie and said in a still half sleepy voice “You’re the coolest.” 

Jamie let out a light chuckle when smiling at the young girl and continued to walk through the house, despite her sometimes overbearing chirpiness, Jamie was quite fond of the young girl. She carried her up to her room with Dani trailing behind her, Flora was asleep by the time they reached upstairs. Dani pulled the sheets back as Jamie settled the young girl into the bed, she left the room to leave Dani to tuck her in whilst Hannah already had Miles covered.

Dani stepped out into the hallway to see Jamie heading towards the top of the stairs, she took a few steps closer to her “So you’re staying?”

“Yeah. Fuck knows what the roads look like with all that...kip on the couch it is.”

“Do you need anything? I mean-like to sleep in? I can borrow you something if you’d…” she cleared her throat as she suddenly felt her cheeks go embarrassingly red, she looked down for a moment and just shrugged “Like.”

Jamie tugged a small smile before giving a soft shake of her head “Nah, you’re alright, Poppins. Believe it or not, dungarees are pretty comfy.”

Dani didn’t believe it. At all. But she also didn’t push. She just gave her a tight smile and nodded “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“Yeah. Thanks though,” Jamie gently tapped her hand against the banister, biting her lip for a small moment, “right, well…” she cleared her throat and looked to Dani with warmth “Goodnight.”

Dani gave her the same light smile and nodded “Goodnight.” 

Jamie gave her once more nod, sliding her hands off the banister as she took a few steps backwards before turning around and making her way down, looking up once more as she did so to see Dani still stood there, that was, until Dani was Jamie was looking right back and she snapped out of it to retire into her room. 

When Dani went into her room, she thought of one thing as she changed.  _ Jamie _ . She avoided the mirrors extra hard because she didn’t want to stop thinking about her. She didn’t want him to go out and ruin this feeling for her, to ruin tonight. Tonight, by all accounts, had been the first peaceful night she’d had since getting here.

Dani got into bed and stared up into the ceiling...thinking of nothing but the gardener yet again. Thinking about how she was downstairs. How she was in such a closer distance than ever before. How easy it would be for her to creep downstairs and admit to Jamie that she was feeling  _ something  _ for her. How it was her that she had the instant attraction to. Not Owen.  _ Her _ .  _ Jamie _ . 

Then in the corner of her eye, the glasses caught her attention, she resisted so hard until finally she looked at them. She really should bury them somewhere, out of sight of mind...well, she wished it were that easy. But no, she still didn’t want to let him in. 

Dani sunk back into her bed and turned away from the glasses...but then when turning, her eyes latched onto the bloody hand that was on the end of her bed, shaking and reaching for her.  _ His  _ hand. _ No, no no...please go away _ . Her breath became sharper as her panic began to kick in, but she didn’t want to let it overtake her, she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Get him away, away from her mind. 

And then suddenly her panic stopped, because when she closed her eyes there was one person that came clear into her mind which led to her body to settle and her fear to wither away into enough peace for her to slip away into slumber.  _ Jamie, Jamie, Jamie.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! hope you guys enjoyed this new installment, please leave a kudos if you've not already and drop a comment ony our thoughts they mean a lot!


	4. Storytime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the storm keeping Jamie on Bly overnight, she stays the following day where she gets to know Dani a little bit more.

The morning soon slipped in, Dani was just thankful that she was able to actually get a full night's sleep. She wondered if Jamie did, she hoped she did. She slid herself out of bed and ran her fingers through her hair, she might not change things in the mirror but she still wanted to give extra insurance that her hair looked somewhat decent, maybe she was being ridiculous by doing so, but she couldn’t help it. 

Making her way downstairs, she went into the kitchen first to get herself something to drink. After getting the water, Dani walked into the living room and looked over to see Jamie sound asleep on the couch, she looked so...peaceful. The one thing Dani couldn’t get over was just how pretty she was. Jamie was  _ so  _ pretty. 

Jamie stirred in her sleep which only pulled Dani’s heartstrings even more as she started at her with her head slightly tilting as she found herself staring that little while longer, standing there for god knows how long until Jamie took in a small breath through her nose and covered her hands over her eyes to rub, before having the chance to be seen, Dani swiftly yet still quietly moved away from the livingroom and made her way back to the stairs, returning to her room. 

“God,” Dani sighed with closed eyes as she covered her face with her palm for a moment, then dropping back down to her side and pushing herself from the door, “stop it, Dani.” 

She put her glass down at the side cabinet and wasted no time in starting to get changed, she tried to not let her thoughts of Jamie distract her so much that she’d forget to get the children out of bed. She was here to be a nanny, not to fantasise about the groundskeeper. 

So Dani got into the shower to blow dry her hair and picked out her outfit for the day...maybe she did wear an outfit that she hoped would make Jamie look at her,  _ maybe _ . But she’d never truly admit it. 

After attending to the children, Dani went downstairs to the kitchen for breakfast. By now, Jamie was up and in the kitchen with Owen and Hannah, a cup of tea held closely to her chest. Hannah looked over to Dani walking in with just Miles trailing in behind, her tone going up a small pitch. “Oh, good morning.”

“Good morning.” Miles said as he sat down, with Dani then smiling sweetly and tightly “Good morning.”

“Morning.” Jamie soothed to her. Dani made her way over to the kitchen island as the boy sat himself to the table “You sleep okay?”

“Yeah, couch is surprisingly comfortable.” Jamie smirked.

“Good, I’m glad.” 

“No Flora?” Hannah asked when the young boy sat across the way from her, which led Dani to take her eyes away from Jamie as she turned her head to the housekeeper “Oh she’s not feeling too good. Got a little fever, think it might just be a cold.”

“Henry might want to know, if one of them is unwell I mean.”

“Yeah, I’ll call him soon.”

In the meantime they all sat down at the table for breakfast. Jamie never gets here for breakfast, it was nice. Dani liked it. A lot. Jamie surely liked it too and not just because Owen did good grub. 

“Not lookin’ forward to seeing what that storm has done to the garden,” Jamie groaned as she cut into her fried egg, shaking her head, “last time we had something like that Daffoldi’s were fu-” she glances to Miles “-- _ ruined _ .” 

Dani looked at her with amusement as if to silently say  _ nice save _ . Jamie just rolled her eyes to her with a small smirk as she looked back down to her plate whilst Owen attempted some encouragement “Well this place has been hit by nasty storms before and you seem to sort them out just fine.”

“Well thank you for the vouch of confidence.” Jamie lightly teased the chef who werely gave her a two-fingered salute. Something that he actually fell into the habit of doing since he met her. 

Breakfast was soon done with, Jamie pushed her plate a little forward, “Right well, I’ve put it off long enough,” she looked to Owen and gave him a nod “Thank you for your grub.”

“A pleasure as always.” 

“And now that my jacket is officially dry,” Jamie said with a smirk as she glanced down to Dani who was sitting beside her, looking up to her and smiling back. “I best get back to it. Hope Flora gets better.”

“Thanks, hope the plants aren’t too wrecked.”

Jamie snorted lightly “You and me both,” she teared her eyes away from the blonde and casted them at the others. “See you lot later.” 

Dani’s eyes couldn’t help themselves as they followed Jamie, looking over her shoulder for her to go out the door and then snapping her head away when Jamie looked back at  _ her.  _ Jamie turned her head back and crossed through the house to fetch her jacket, did she think about the conversation with Dani from last night? Of course. Did she think about it all through the night till she fell asleep? Absolutely. 

Jamie was never someone to really get butterflies at the pit of her stomach, it had been so long since she had had them that she really had forgotten what they felt like. But she told herself that she was looking into things too deeply, she’d be damned if she turned into some kind of fool that fell for a girl who, well, didn’t  _ look  _ at someone like her in that light...she was pretty sure Dani didn’t... _ pretty sure _ . 

She grabbed her jacket and put it back on, buttoning it all the way up and heading herself outside to go to her tool shed, walking to it along the way, she saw all the work that she had to do. “Bastard storm.” 

* * *

  
  


Dani literally didn’t see Jamie for the entire day, as well as being occupied with Flora, it was clear that Jamie was not to be disturb as she tried to rectify her garden that the storm had wreaked havoc on. Best to leave her to it.

It was once again just Miles who joined the four adults for dinner, which was, as always, divine. Flora was feeling slightly better but still remained in bed. Afterwards Dani was given some downtime as Miles requested to go upstairs and see how his little sister was feeling, which she of course said was fine. And so in the kitchen was just her, Jamie, Hannah and Owen. 

“I’m cracking a bottle,” Jamie announced as she went over to one of the cupboards and pulled out a bottle of wine, she held the bottle and turned to Owen and Hannah who were closest “Guys?”

Hannah nodded almost instantly “Oh, yes, please, Jamie.”

Jamie placed a glass down and filled her up, with Owen then also taking a glass of his own. Hannah looked over to Dani who was sitting at the table “Dani, dear. Wine?”

The blonde snapped out of her daydream and looked to them all, seeing Jamie tilt up a glass to her “Oh! Yeah, that’d be great, thank you.”

Jamie nodded and started to pour out a glass for the au pair “Coming up,” she picked up the now full glass and one other empty one along with a bottle and made her way over, she placed down the wine in front of Dani as she sat down in the chair near her. “Tell ya, I love a good glass of red.”

“Me too.” Dani hummed as she took the glass close.

“You’re usually gone by this time, Jamie,” Owen spoke up as he stood by the stove, looking over to her and smirking. “Something keeping you?”

Jamie gave him a sharp glare before firing back in a casual voice “After the day I’ve had? I’m not rushing myself.” 

“Let the woman be.” Hannah slapped the back of her hand against his arm before Owen just rolled his eyes, still amused “Only if you try this sauce for me.”

“For heaven’s sake-”

“Just one taste, Hannah! Come on!” Owen put her spoon back into the sauce he was making in prep to take home to his mother for her dinner tomorrow evening as he’d be working late again, he felt terrible that he wasn’t there for her last night, she had dementia and though she was physically capable, sometimes her forgetfulness caused her distress. Luckily she had been okay lately. 

Dani laughed as she watched the chef trying to enforce the housekeeper to give him her thoughts on his cooking, finding them utterly adorable with each other, Jamie on the other hand just found herself looking at Dani. But thinking something along the same lines, she watched as Dani’s nose crinkled when she laughed, her face was quite perfect. Jamie’s eyes lingered on her as she took her glass to her lips. 

When Dani turned back to her, Jamie made it seem as though they just coincidentally caught a glimpse, as though she too had been watching Hannah and Owen, she just raised her brows and muttered “They’re always like this.”

“Oh yeah?” 

“You’d have thought they had clicked on with each other by now.”

Dani let out a gentle chuckle and glanced down to her glass, with Jamie then tilting her head to her for a moment and couldn’t help the curiosity that suddenly riled up inside her “Can I ask you somethin’?”

Dani looked back up to her, with a funny nervous feeling mixing up in her stomach “Of course.”

Jamie shrugged a shoulder “What made you move over here? Not just to Bly but England in general?” 

_ Loaded question _ . Dani sucked in a small breath, before she answered, Jamie’s hand suddenly came a little closer as her fingertips gently touched her arm for a moment “Tell me to piss off if it’s too personal-”

“No, no,” Dani chuckled with still nerves. Well, technically it was personal but Jamie was doing no wrong by asking, it was a question she knew she’d get. She cleared her throat and looked down to her drink again “Needed a change I guess. Not that my mom was thrilled.”

“No?” 

Dani shook her head, her eyes flickered back to Jamie as she was then the one to shrug, “I didn’t exactly leave on the best terms...I... _ got out _ , you could say, of an relationship.”

“Ah, and let me guess. Mum wanted you to get married.”

“She loved him. Everyone did-kinda made it worse because we were engaged.”

Jamie was taken aback for a moment, the only word she was able to find was “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Dani let out a small breath, clearing her throat once again. “I’ve not told anyone here that…”

Jamie’s face then suddenly softened as she nodded “Well. If there’s one thing I’m good at, Poppins. It’s keeping things to myself,” she turned into a little smirk which made Dani feel more at ease, just thinking of him made her body go funny and not in a good way. Jamie then leaned forward and said in a small whispered tease “And if you ever wanna talk badly about him, I’ll be all ears.”

“Oh no,” Dani laughed breathlessly to bury further the thought of him. “He wasn’t-it wasn’t like that at all trust me.” 

“I’ll take your word for it. But like I said yesterday, anytime you need an ear to chew off.” Jamie sat back in her chair and just pointed to herself before taking hold of her glass again, with Dani letting out a fuzzy kind of smile as she nodded “Thank you.”

For a moment, Dani did wonder...she wondered if talking to someone about him would make him leave her alone, that he’d no longer linger over her like the guilt ridden secret he was. Maybe Jamie could be that person, but not yet, not now at least. They left it at that. 

They kind of had to because a few seconds later, Flora and Miles came rushing into the kitchen now all dressed up. Miles having make up on his face to make him look like a puppet and Flora looking like a cat. Miles came in swinging his arms up “Attention, please! Welcome to storytime!”

They  _ all  _ looked over to them, letting out small laughs. Dani got up from her chair “Flora! How are you feeling?” she got closer and put her hands to the young girl’s cheeks for a moment, though thoroughly avoiding smudging her whiskers, she looked adorable. “Oh, my God, you’ve gone into the makeup.”

“It’s story time.” Flora stated in a much perkier tone than she had before.

Dani then hearing behind her both Owen and Jamie express their own thoughts on storytime, Owen being encouraging whilst Jamie just exhaled an “Oh, God, story time,” and sinking her head into her hand whilst Owen said “Oh,  _ good _ , story time.” 

“Should’ve bloody gone home.” Jamie muttered to herself, getting a small nudge on her back from Hannah “Oh hush now, grumps.”

“Come along.” Miles softly demanded as he and Flora ran back out of the kitchen. Dani stood back up properly and turned to them “She’s as if she was never sick.”

“They bounce back fast, those two,” Hannah soothed, putting her hand on Dani’s back as she led her out the room. “They’ve had to. That’s right, it's your first story time!”

“Yeah.” Dani said brightly, seemingly excited...Jamie actually truly believed that it was  _ genuine  _ too. 

“They do this a lot.” Owen said to the blonde. Jamie continues to just trail behind, practically dragging her feet with her glass of wine and bottle in her hands. 

“Oh, uh...exciting?” Dani said as she tried to keep her encouragement, then trying not to laugh when she heard Jamie say behind her “Let’s get this over with.”

The blonde glanced to her over her shoulder with Jamie just raising her brows at her with a plain look still on her face as she motioned an of course  _ joking  _ action of slitting her throat. Dani gently snorted again and then turned herself back forward to see four chairs already laid out as though the staircase was the children’s stage. Dani had to admit...she was a little disappointed when Jamie ended up on the other side of Owen instead of beside her. 

Jamie just sat at the end of the chairs and drank her wine whilst trying to seem enthusiastic, though Dani had that handled for all of them, and once again Jamie cursed to herself by how damn fucking sweet she found it. She had never been so endeared by someone before. 

The storytime lasted ten minutes.  _ Felt like twenty _ , but it was ten nonetheless. Both Miles and Flora were very much proud of themselves, holding hands as they stood before the four adults and gave them a unison bow whilst they recieved their applause. Dani actually did quite like it, she was impressed by their avid storytelling.

“That was great you guys!” Dani clapped and held her hands out. Flora put hers in when running over to her just as the phone started to ring “Do you really think so?”

“I know so.” Dani said with her nose scrunching to the young girl and giving her hands a squeeze. 

“Oh splendid! We must make it more regular.” 

As she passed to get the phone, Jamie dipped down and muttered into the au pair’s ear “Nice going, Poppins,” she carried on going to the phone and reached it in time before the line went flat. “Wingrave residence...yeah he’s here...what? Are you-...Oh, God,” Jamie turned herself back around to the rest of them, her eyes latching to Owen who right now seemed so happy...and now she was going to have to crush that. “Just one sec.” 

Jamie pulled the phone back down and kept her close to her chest, directing her words at the chef “It’s your neighbour…” Owen turned to her as she continued “Mr McQueeny,” already she saw the dread in his eyes. “I am so sorry, Owen.” 

Owen just stared at her, whilst Hannah and Dani just looked back and forth between the two of them. They both knew what it meant and even Owen, who still felt like he went into a sudden state of shock, knew what it meant to. He got up from his chair and rushed his way over, taking the phone from Jamie’s hands and talking to his neighbour. 

Jamie made her way back over to Dani and Hannah, all with grave looks on their faces. They were having yet another great night...it was cruel to have Owen be slapped out of it like this, with the news of his mothers passing. And Jamie just  _ knew  _ that he’d now hate himself for leaving her. 

As he grew more and more upset, Dani said quietly to the two women “I’m gonna take these two upstairs and get them in bed...I’m sure Owen would rather them not see him like this.”

“Yes, I think that’s a good idea.” Hannah gently agreed with her eyes glued to Owen, whilst Jamie just got her eyes on Dani, just smiling to her tightly and nodding. Dani took the two children’s hands and led them upstairs. 

With Jamie to just stand there and watch whilst Owen crumbled in Hannah’s arms after he hung up the phone. 

* * *

Owen was of course devastated, he barely even said a word as he collected his things. Dani came back down just in time as he and Jamie were about to leave, going outside with her, Owen and Hannah. Dani was never good with this kind of thing, even when she was going through her own grief, she barely knew how to share it with others or accept it. 

Dani just shook her head with sadness, squeezing Owen’s arm. “I’m so sorry, Owen. If you need anything…”

“Thank you, Dani.” Owen grumbled, trying his best to give her a grateful smile with eyes welled up, looking like a completely wrecked man. Dani hung back and watched as when Owen got closer to his car, Jamie wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug, muttering her own condolences and telling him if he needed to call her at any point, he could. Given that they lived close to each other in Bly, Jamie could always get to him quicker. 

Jamie then took a step back, standing beside Dani but neither of them looked to each other or spoke, both just watched on as Owen once again cried in Hannah’s arms. Jamie wondered what that was like, to have someone that you could crumble to so easily because you know that whatever pain you were going through, they’d make it better, even if it was just by an ounce. To have someone to give you that kind of warmth. 

Finally, Owen got in the car and drove off. No one spoke for a moment before Hannah then broke the silence as she held onto her necklace “I’m going to light a candle,” she then went off and made her way over to the chapel. 

With still silence between the two of them, Jamie cleared her throat and headed towards her car, Dani took some steps and caught up to her...suddenly finding herself making some sort of confession “I’m so glad...you stayed.”

Jamie stared at her as they grew closer to the car, she started to get that warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of her stomach again, a soft smile tugging at the corner of her lips “I am too.”

Dani’s eyes flickered back at her just as Jamie looked away for a moment when she reached the door of her car, turning back around and feeling the gravitation from the way Dani was looking at her, she felt herself suddenly drowning into her eyes,  _ gazing _ so deeply...wondering what she was thinking, what was running through Dani’s mind? The way she was looking at her...what on earth was she thinking? Because all that Jamie could think about right now, much like last night, was how easy it would be to kiss her. 

Dani was wondering the same. She had no idea what she really was thinking. She knew what she wanted. She wanted  _ her _ , she wanted Jamie and it had been burning inside her for what felt like an eternity already. Without even knowing she was doing it at first, she found herself reaching her hand forward and taking hold of Jamie’s, holding onto it tight, stroking her thumb against the gardener’s skin. 

Jamie felt like her breath had completely be on hold, her heart began to round like it never had, she didn’t even hesitate to hold Dani’s hand right back, squeezing onto it before they slipped apart after a few seconds, but now that she had held Dani’s hand she just wanted to grip onto it again, to not let go. 

There were so many things rushing through her head, one being a complete surprise, she was telling her about her ex fiance not even an hour ago. Her  _ male  _ ex fiance. And yes, she considered again how much she’d love to take hold of Dani’s waist, pull her close and kiss her hard. Yes, she imagined how it’d be to press Dani against her car as she kissed her deeply, running her hands over her body. But yet again, now wasn’t the time. 

Jamie pursed her lips and looked down to try and contain her smile, she wasn’t sure what exactly this meant...other than it was evident that there was a mutual set of feelings between the two of them. Saying nothing at first, Jamie just turned and opened her car door before looking back to the blonde and releasing a small, still surprised smile “Who the hell knew?” 

Dani wanted to say something, but as of right now, she found no words. She just watched as Jamie hopped in her car and gave her one last gentle look before turning on the engine and started to drive off, Dani took a small step back and watched her drive away. Kind of wishing that she’d ask Jamie to stay for a little while, to talk...but the problem was, she wasn’t quite sure what to say. She didn’t know what she was meaning by the way just grabbed her hand, of course it was her way of trying to  _ show  _ Jamie something. How she felt? How she had felt even  _ before  _ she had met her, about  _ herself  _ in general. It was something she had never expressed to another person...apart from him. 

The one thing she did feel though was somewhat hope. Hope that she and Jamie would talk about it in some way, she pressed her lips together and looked down for a moment, now it was her trying to settle her smile, she wiped the tip of her nose and when turning around, lifting her head back up, he was in front of her once again. Staring at her, no longer being seen in a reflection, he was just  _ there _ in plain sight. 

Dani’s breathing soon became erratic once more, shaking her head and whispering in a breathless plea “Please... _ please _ ,” she put her hands over her eyes and said in more of a yell “Edmund, please!” 

When tearing her hands back down, he was gone and she felt like she could release another breath. How could she ever move forward with  _ anyone  _ if she had her dead fiance following her every move? To freak out at any given turn? How crazy would she be? And if she told Jamie that she sometimes saw him the way she does...Jamie would think she was crazy, she was sure of it. 

Dani gripped to the back of her neck for a moment and took another deep breath through her nose, she looked over to the chapel and saw the light coming from the window. This night had been a whirlwind, there was no doubt about that. All that Dani knew was that she felt terribly for Owen...and wanted Jamie even more terribly. But she had no idea how she could, when she still had her ghost watching her. 

* * *

Owen was given time off to plan his mother’s funeral, it was expected. Luckily, Dani and Hannah could manage when it came to the food because Jamie was hardly at Bly either. Hannah wanted to be the one to help Owen, but she had her duties here, and so it was Jamie that became his helping hand throughout the week. People in Bly liked Owen but there were only very few he actually considered to be his friends...and Jamie, by all accounts, was his closest friend.

Dani didn’t see or hear from Jamie for two days after that night. Neither her or Hannah did. Until one day, when Dani was outside playing with the children...she saw Jamie’s truck come up the drive, getting closer and closer and suddenly she stopped playing and just stared. Flora spun her head around to see what had gotten hold of Dani’s attention, till she gasped herself “It’s Jamie!” 

Miles looked over too “It is!”

Both children beamed and made their way over to the car as it pulled up, surrounding Jamie’s car as the gardener got out, Dani just had her eyes fixated on her whilst Flora spoke up “Jamie! We’ve missed you.”

“Have you?”

“Oh, yes,” Miles agreed. “You and Owen...how is he?”

Jamie gave him a light frown, giving his chin a gentle nudge “He’s sad, mate. Really sad.”

Flora tugged at Jamie’s jacket. “He’ll be alright though, won’t he?”

“Yeah, just gonna take some time.” 

Flora and Miles looked to each other, they knew all about that. Jamie glanced over to Dani for a moment before she looked down to the children “You guys do me a favour and go fetch Owen’s cookbook? I know he’d really appreciate it.”

And just like that, the two kiddies ran into the house, leaving just Jamie and Dani once more. With hesitation for a moment, Dani made her way over “Hey.”

“Hi.” 

“How are you?” Dani sighed.

Jamie shrugged “Alright. Not me with the dead mum.”

“No-I know of course I just...well it’s a lot. And Owen?”

Jamie shook her head and gave it to her more bluntly “Fucking wreck to be honest. Don’t think even he expected for it to hit him so hard given how ill she was.”

Dani just nodded for a moment, pressing her lips together from the awkward silence, she glanced into the house “He’s really thinking about cooking right now?” 

“No, me,” Jamie kept her eyes on Dani and shrugged when the blonde turned her head back to her “Told you, Dani. He’s a wreck. Someone’s got to make him eat and he’s now refusing to consume anymore take outs...I can be handy when I need to be.” 

Dani hummed with a small smile before it slowly faded when she asked “So, you’re not staying?” 

“Nah. I can’t, Poppins. Spoken to Henry and he’s given me leeway in helping Owen so I’m gonna be away from here until the funeral is set.” 

“Oh...yeah that makes sense.” 

“Yeah,” Jamie glanced down to the floor for a moment before she cleared her throat, the silence building back up between them until she looked back up into the blonde’s eyes “So. The night it all happened.”

Dani sucked in a small breath. “Yeah.”

Jamie nodded and raised her brows as she said in a light hearted voice. “It was pretty intense.”

“It was.” Dani softly agreed.

“Emotional night…”

Dani nodded once again, but she didn’t want Jamie to think the only reason she held her hand was because she felt  _ emotional _ , because it wasn’t just that. “Jamie-”

“Are gonna come to Owen’s mums funeral?” Jamie suddenly asked, taking Dani a little by surprise for a moment. God, she had barely even thought about that. The last funeral she went to was when  _ she  _ was getting the condolences “I-um, yeah if he wants me there of course...I mean but the kids-”

“Hannah is gonna take care of ‘em. She doesn’t do well with funerals, she rather does her own thing when someone passes, she was like that with the Wingraves.”

“Owen’s okay with it?” 

“Yeah they talked, he gets it. He doesn’t expect any of us to come but...are you?” 

She didn’t want to, but then again who  _ wants  _ to go to a funeral? But she did at the same time, to be a good friend to Owen. Dani shrugged and nodded “Yeah, yeah I am.”

Jamie nodded to her “I can come pick you up, if you’d like?” 

_ Oh God, how wrong am I for a split second to feel like I’m being asked out on a date _ . Dani shook out of her stupid thought and just smiled tightly “That’d be great.” 

“Okay...good.” 

“ _ Good _ .”

Jamie flickered a soft smile to her that was reflected by the au pair, breaking out of it as the two children came running back out, Miles having the book in his hand and giving it over to her “There you go, this one is his favourite.”

“So it is,” Jamie agreed as she examined the cover, looking at them both when putting the book to her chest. “Nice one.”

“Did you come all the way back for just his book?” Flora questioned, with Jamie swaying her head softly “ _ That  _ and I came to check with Dani that she was coming to the funeral,” whilst Dani was caught off guard by the proclamation, Jamie turned her head back at Dani and sucked in a breath as she raised her brows “right, best get back.”

“Do give Owen our love.” Hannah suddenly said as she walked out the house. 

Jamie looked to her and nodded “Course,” she looked to Dani once more, glancing down to the hand she held the other night for a moment before saying. “See you Friday.” 

“Yeah, see you Friday.” Dani muttered quietly,  _ wanting  _ to say more but instead she just let Jamie go, watching her turn and chuck the book in the passenger seat when getting in the car. Dani’s stomach felt all fluttery like some gushing teenager from the sheer thought that Jamie travelled down here for the cook book and just to ask Dani if she needed picking up for the funeral. Something as small as that shouldn’t make her feel some type of way, but it did.

Once again she watched Jamie drive away, but this time as she remained surrounded by the children and Hannah, she didn’t see Edmund, he stayed away. She prayed he would stay away at the funeral. Because although Dani wasn’t looking forward to attending another funeral, she really would start counting down the days till she saw Jamie again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy four months everyone. hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave comments on yout thoughts!


	5. The Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it was the day of owen's mums funeral, but it was also a day for dani to put her own ghost to rest.

Dani couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror to see how she looked in her dress, she couldn’t risk it, not today. She had dreams last night that were practically memories of the life she once had, the  _ lie  _ she used to live that she allowed to get so deeply woven. 

She smoothed her hands down her black dress, not sure if it was anything that was deemed to be appropriate for a wedding, it looked somewhat  _ fancy _ . But it was all she had. She was already dreading this funeral, she couldn’t spend time stressing over how the dress did or did not look. Now she had to sort her hair. 

Before she was able to get her bearings together, there was a knock on the door, Dani turned to see it open and for Jamie to walk in...and Dani couldn’t help but have her eyes scale down Jamie’s body. She looked amazing, Dani was aware it was to attend a  _ funeral _ but still, she looked incredible. So much so that Dani just came out with “ _ Wow _ . You look…”

Jamie hummed a small smirk whilst secretly trying her best, shying her head away when looking to the door as she closed it. “I can scrub up when I need to,” it was then her that checked out Dani and her outfit as she walked over to the footstool at the bottom of the bed, “funeral starts at four. Owen said we should get there early.”

“Okay.”

This had been the first time they’d seen each other since Jamie came by for the cookbook and asked Dani if she was going to attend the funeral. Jamie sat herself down “It’s a…” she cleared her throat and tried to remain  _ appropriate  _ “it’s quite a dress.”

“Yeah, it’s the only thing I had in black. I hate it.” 

Jamie tilted her head and watched as Dani looked down on herself, literally  _ and  _ metaphorically. But Jamie didn’t want her doing that, she did look great. More than great, Jamie’s heart began to race just that little bit more at the sight..and so, she just tried to lighten the mood “Does look a  _ bit  _ like you’re trying to scandalize the village,” she let out a small shrug, “can’t say I fault the general principle.”

“I just won’t want to let Owen down.”

“He won’t mind,” Jamie suddenly assured, causing Dani to look back to her. “Honestly, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to,” it was true, he did tell Jamie to tell Dani there was no pressure in it. And despite the fact that Jamie did like the idea of Dani being beside her during the whole thing, she wasn’t going to make Dani feel obligated in any way.

“Really?”

“He said as much. Was pretty clear.”

Dani felt bad that she felt a sudden feel of relief. She wanted to be there for Owen, there was no doubt...and she wanted to be close to Jamie, there was  _ certainly  _ no doubt about that. But when it came to funerals, she was nervous that she’d end up finding it all too much. In fact, she knew she would.

Dani ran her hands through her hair as she released a sigh “Okay, yeah. That’s a relief actually. I, um…” Jamie just remained quiet, letting her face slip into a disappointed tone up until Dani’s eyes opened again when she added “I had a funeral in my own life. Not so long ago,” and it was just like  _ that _ , that Jamie wanted to just hold her. It didn’t matter that she didn’t know the full context, whoevers funeral it was, it had clearly shaken Dani up to make her feel like this, she got up from the footstool and got closer to the blonde “--and I feel like this is, um…”

“Hey, Poppins,” Jamie soothed, her hands briefly brushing Dani’s elbows for assurance when she added “It’s your day off. I promise, I don’t  _ need  _ you to be my date to Owen’s mum’s funeral,” she decided to leave out the part that was in the back of her head that  _ need  _ and  _ want  _ were two very different things.

Still, she was able to bring out a laugh from Dani, her nose scrunching as her eyes closed when holding her hand close to her chest, playing with a strand of her hair, something that Jamie just gazed at as it brought a smile to her own lips. 

“Okay…” Dani looked back to Jamie. “And-and you’re okay with me not going?”

“I’ll survive being stood up,” Jamie deadpanned before breaking out into a gentle chuckle “Seriously, Dani. It’s fine, I can handle a funeral for a woman I didn’t know.”

“Okay,” the blonde sighed, she put her hands back on her dress “Then, can you help me get this thing off?” 

“Blimey.” Jamie smirked with the clearing of her throat, looking back to Dani with an amused grin as she herself rolled her eyes with a light laugh “No, seriously,” she walked in front of Jamie who was still chuckling, Dani kept her hands clenched together as she tried no to melt as the couch of Jamie’s hands going to her back. “Thank you.”

As Jamie just hummed whilst concentrating...she never exactly thought she’d be taking Dani’s dress  _ off  _ before, there was still this kind of odd atmosphere between the two of them ever since Dani grabbed Jamie’s hand last week. They hadn’t talked about it because, well, it was an emotional night as it was and Jamie hasn’t exactly been around enough to even try and raise a conversation. Even if she was, how would they go about that? 

Dani of course thought about it too, she hadn’t really thought of much else apart from the fact she was dreading the funeral, well that was one down at least. She cast her eyes to the mirror, barely even thinking but there he was, staring right back at her; causing Dani to let out a gasp and suddenly pull away from Jamie to turn her back.

“Did I pinch you?” Jamie asked with due care.

Dani took a quick second to try and get her composure before she turned back to Jamie “No, I’m sorry...I’m okay, really. I got it now.”

“All right. If you’re sure,” Jamie shrugged with a casual nod, then swiftly moving past it and raising her brows to once again lighten the tone “well, I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Okay.”

“And if I find out you’ve not been relaxing. There will be serious consequences,” she put in once again deadpan tone which caused a nervous chuckle to once again leave Dani’s lips and only being able to say another word of. “ _ Okay _ .” 

Their smiles didn’t fade from their faces. Jamie kept her eyes on Dani for a few moments longer before she turned her head and walked back over to the door, not being able to resist looking over her shoulder to cast her eyes back to the au pair once more until finally leaving the room. God, Dani really wished she could go with her, but this time round she really had to just take a step back from something she knew would be too much to handle. 

* * *

Jamie pulled the car up outside the church and released a small breath. Of course she was understanding for Dani not to come, funerals weren’t exactly a barrel of laughs and if she has had one that felt fairly recent then, of course Jamie understood that she didn’t want any unwelcome memories to come back up to mind.

But could anyone really blame Jamie for wanting to spend as much as time with Dani as possible? She really didn’t want to develop feelings for Dani, she never actually had this quickly for someone. She hadn’t been with anyone since getting out from serving time, even the relationship she had before that she didn’t even know was actually real. But no, this...the attraction and gravitation that she had towards Dani was unexpected and new. But the last thing she wanted was a complicated path.

Now wasn’t the time to think about Dani and what she may or may not be feeling, right now her only concern was to get out the car and support her grieving friend. The funeral was small, there weren’t that many people there which Owen actually preferred and he knew that his mum would prefer it that way too, rather a small people of those she used to remember and love. 

Jamie got out of the car and made her way over to the church where Owen was waiting outside with the other mourners, waiting for the hearse to arrive. Owen clapped eyes to her and let out a sigh of relief when making his way to her “Sight for sore eyes,”

She looked at him, more like sight for  _ red  _ eyes, it was obvious how much he had been crying. Jamie briefly put her hands to his cheeks before tapped his shoulders to pull him forward and gave him a tight squeeze, feeling Owen’s arms wrap tighter around her as he let out a breath from his head resting on her shoulder, Jamie felt like it was the first real breath he had been able to release all day. As said, Owen had plenty of people he liked, but few people he found comfort in, all those who remained that he did find that in were all at Bly. “No Dani?” 

Jamie reeled herself back and tightened a small tight smile as she let out a small shake of her head “No, she uh, wanted to come but uh...apparently she had a funeral of her own not that long ago and she just found it hard-”

“It’s fine. I hardly want to be here either,” Owen sighed, looking around to everyone who was attending before muttering, “shame for you though.”

Jamie’s brows pinched to him “What?”

“You went all that way back to Bly the other day and made up a rubbish excuse of fetching one of my cookbooks just to see her and ask her here all for nothing.” 

Jamie’s jaw dropped for a moment to defend herself before she just shook her head and did what she did best. Deflected. “It doesn't matter now.”

And then just like that, Owen’s brief attempt at having a normal sentence faded as he tightened his lips hard together to try and not cry as if he had just suddenly remembered why they were standing outside the church, he sucked in a breath and kept his hands buried in his coat pockets, “Yeah…”

Jamie gave a small frown, and rubbed Owen’s back just as the car began to come down the street.  _ Here we go _ . She watched as Owen started to crumble bit by bit as the car and the coffin came closer and closer, she said nothing as there was nothing to say, she instead simply slid her arm into his. 

* * *

“I thought you said you were making our favourite for dinner.” Flora queried Hannah as she helped peeling a potato whilst Hannah, who was in charge of carrots leaned down slightly to the young girl “I didn’t say it was your favourite. It’s Owen’s favourite.”

“But Owen isn’t here.”

Dani glanced over to Hannah and just saw the faint smile she gave to the young girl, Owen not being here wasn’t the point. She wanted to do something thinking of him, and so that’s why they were making his favourite. It was sweet. Before Hannah could say anything to the young girl, Jamie’s voice was heard as she entered the room “Hey, you lot.”

Dani’s head snapped over and saw the brunette walk into the kitchen, and just like  _ that _ , her face completely brightened up. The way her stomach fluttered at the sheer sight of Jamie made her feel like a teenager, or how she imagined you were meant to feel as a teenager when having an absolutely monstrous crush on someone. She never had the chance to feel that when she was younger. 

“How was it?” Hannah asked. 

“Oh, you know, just a barrel of laughs,” Jamie muttered as she brought a chair over, “any chance for a brew?”

Jumping at the chance, Dani nodded “Yeah, I’ll make tea.”

“No!” both Hannah  _ and  _ Jamie exclaimed in unison. Well, evidently Dani hadn’t improved on her tea making skills in the near two weeks that she had been here. Jamie looked to Dani as Hannah then went to make thm “No offense.” 

Dani just rolled her eyes to her but couldn’t stop the sweet smile that grew on after. Jamie tore her eyes away from Dani and focused on untying her boots when actually giving Hannah a solid answer “Owen did his best. Almost no one even remembered how she was when her mind hadn’t gone...I hate to say it, but, on some level, it must be a relief. For Owen, I mean.”

Hannah brought a cup of hot tea over to Jamie, milk no sugar of course, “Did he, um...did he seem relieved?”

“No. Didn’t seem much of anything, shell-shocked,” after their brief conversation outside, Owen went completely silent really, as soon as the funeral really began it was as if he went into some auto pilot mode. Jamie carried on untying her shoes “I’d be relieved, though. Losing yourself like that. Being worn away a little bit every day. Christ, just shoot me,” she pulled both her boots off and rested her arm down on the table, “put me out of my misery. It’s not fair on anyone.”

“I don’t think fairness comes into it, dear.”

Dani agreed with that, with Hannah. It comes down to love most of the time, to love someone so much that you’d be there for them even if they did lose their mind. But Jamie’s outlook was just personal, she never had someone to guide her any other way, she’d always been used to being on her own. Jamie looked up as she started to remove her earrings when feeling eyes on her, then seeing it to be Dani, Jamie literally caught her gazing. But she liked it. Softly, Jamie chuckled and smiled softly back to her as she continued to remove her earring. Dani suddenly snapping out of her gaze when realising that Jamie had clocked on and looked back down to peeling the potatoes. 

Barely even being able to think about the way Jamie looked at her just now. Not even knowing how much Jamie wished she’d look back at her. But Dani just takes the bowl of the vegetables that she had over to the sink, turning on the tap to wash...then she finally thinks about how Jamie looked at her just then, but when she turned her head back over her shoulder, the brunette wasn’t looking back, she was talking to Miles and Flora. 

Dani turned back, picturing Jamie’s face once more in the way she just looked at her, hoping that it meant something,  _ hoping  _ that they could...pick up or  _ something  _ from last week, just to even talk about something outside of the context of Bly. But as soon as he started thinking about Jamie at all, she felt where two hands go to her waist, she looked down and saw the dark hands clutched to her waist, she tried to ignore, just hoping that it’d go away. But when she looked up and saw him in the reflection of the pan, she let out a sharp gasp and dropped the bowl in the sink, of course this caught everyone’s attention.

Jamie looked over to her, her brows pinching with concern. “Poppins...you all right?”

Dani took another moment in attempts to keep her composure under wraps, she reached forward and turned off the water before giving out a not so convincing “Yeah,” a nervous laughter slipped from her as she tried to keep a casual tone when turning whilst still avoiding eye contact with them all “I-I’m fine. I just-I need a minute.”

Dani excused herself into the hallway, trying to take calming breaths. But then she looked over to the window and saw a figure coming closer and closer...she was convinced she was going some kind of crazy. He can’t be here, he literally can’t. But it didn’t stop her from running to the front door and pulling it open so fast and that it scared Owen half to death. 

“Dani! Jesus!” Owen exhaled, putting his hand over his heart. 

“Oh-my God, Owen I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” Jamie appeared from down the hall after she heard the commotion, clearly she rushed due to her concern. 

“I thought-I didn’t know it was him I thought it was...I don’t know.”

“Alright,” Jamie soothed, placing her hand gently on the back of Dani’s arm “well you can put the poker down now, Poppins, stand down.” 

Dani looked to Jamie oddly and only then noticed that she had grabbed the fire poker from the side up. Dani quickly put it down “God, I'm sorry.”

“It’s actually quite impressive, no damage done.” Owen quickly reassured. 

Whilst Dani calmed her panting down, Jamie slipped her hand off of the back of her arm “Owen, you prat. What are you doing leaping out on innocent Americans? You’re meant to be at a funeral.”

“I just needed to leave, so I got in the car, and I didn’t know I was coming here until I arrived and well...I should go back ‘cause-”

“Supper’s almost done.” Hannah suddenly said now also in the hall with Miles and Flora accompanying her. It only took the children’s added encouragement and Hannah’s little more insistence that made Owen stay.

Jamie turned to Dani as the other four walked away, gently taking the fire poker out of her hand “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” Dani sighed, with her hands still shaking. 

“Sure?” 

“Yeah I just-got a little spooked I guess,” Dani tightened a smile to Jamie but she was clearly still shaken “I’m fine.”

“All right, I’ll take this,” Jamie said as she glanced down to the  _ weapon _ and then nodded back to the jittered au pair “just take a few breaths, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Jamie just gave her a considerate nod and then made way over to the holder where Dani took the fire poker from, she gave her one last look before entering the kitchen. Giving Dani a few moments to herself before she joined them for dinner. 

* * *

After getting dinner done and putting the children to bed, Dani came down the stairs to find Jamie by the front, with her oversized jacket on and having another coat in her hand,  _ Dani’s  _ coat in fact.

“We’re all outside, and you’re joining us,” Jamie stated, in less of a request and much more as a demand, she wanted to have Dani come out and tear herself away from being a nanny for the night. To actually let her hair down. “After today. It’s needed.”

“I didn’t go anywhere,” Dani laughed breathlessly as she took the coat, “chickened out, remember?”

“Well considering it you are making it up to me,” Jamie said with a raised brow before giving Dani a small nudge and muttering an added, “c’mon. Don’t make a beggar out of me.”

“Okay.” Dani scoffed lightly, quickly following Dani out of the house. Jamie looked to her as they made their way down to where Owen and Hannah had just set the bonfire “You feeling better?”

“Yeah I don’t really know what happened before.”

Jamie rubbed her lips together and took a small breath “Dani. You know you’ve got friends in us, right? You don’t have to run away and deal with things on your own here, Hannah, Owen,  _ me _ . We’re all here, you know that right?” 

Dani felt like she could burst out into tears, because never in her life had she had people who could be like  _ her  _ people, she grew up with friends and family around her but they were people who expected things from her, people who she didn’t feel like she could be her full self around. But Jamie was showing her that here she can, in front of  _ her _ , she can. “Thanks, Jamie.”

“For now, let’s just have a nice bit of wine in front of the fire.”

“That sounds so good.” Dani laughed breathlessly with Jamie then letting out a small laugh of her own as they finally came into sight from the others.

“Oh, there she is,” Owen clocked over “Jamie used her perfect charm to convince you?”

“I can be very persuasive.” Jamie muttered with a smirk as she passed and grabbed a bottle of wine from the basket, Dani then grabbing her own bottle and sitting on the stump beside the brunette, getting butterflies fluttering in her stomach and the touch of Jamie’s knee bump against hers.

But Dani couldn’t help but stare into the flames. To remember the candle that was lit between her and Edmund the night she told him that she couldn’t marry him. Jamie then suddenly spilt her bottle for red wine to come boring out in the box, Dani stared down at the wine poured out, then remembering how she and him then sat in the car after she told him the truth.  _ Her  _ truth. She remembered how upset he was, she assured him that she loved him...it just wasn’t in the way it mattered to him. She remembered how he told her to stop talking and as soon as he got out the car...he was hit. She remembered screaming, running out and watching as he bled out right in front of her. 

“Oh, damn it! Fallen soldier,” Jamie cursed, pulling Dani out of her thinking as she bent down and lifted the bottle back up straight. “Owen, be a hero, pass us a fresh bottle.”

Owen did so to her. Dani kind of blacked out a little bit further as Jamie went onto talking about the history behind bonfires, she still faded out as Hannah said a word for a past loved one she had who died...and then Jamie stood, and suddenly Dani began to listen once more as she took her eyes to her.

Jamie held a bottle in her hand and paid her respects to Lord and Lady Wingrave, Flora and Miles' parents. “--Their kids really miss them, nothing can fix that, not ever...but here’s Dani Clayton,” and just like that Dani’s heart began to race “she’s a bit of a weirdo, but she’s a lot stronger than she thinks. And if anyone can bring Miles and Flora back to themselves, she can...I’m glad she’s here. I think they would be too.”

They all drank to it, and Dani’s stomach still continued to flutter, Jamie sat down beside her when Dani then said quietly “Thank you...you didn’t have to say all that-”

“Yeah, I did because it’s true. All of it,” Jamie softly smiled, glancing briefly to Dani’s lips before clearing her throat and saying in a more clear tone “but what about you? Poppins? Anyone you want to commemorate?” 

Dani knew why Jamie was asking, and it was sweet. Jamie was remembering how Dani mentioned she lost someone...but Dani couldn’t. She didn’t want him coming back. “No, thank you.”

“That’s all right.” Jamie whispered softly, with Dani giving her a grateful smile. 

A little while after, after Owen talked about his mother some more and trade stories and Dani had  _ vivid  _ flashbacks to her own past, after all  _ that  _ when Owen and Hannah started to talk amongst themselves, Jamie leaned forward to Dani and whispered “You wanna go somewhere? Quiet.”

And here goes Dani’s heart once again, racing like it was about to run a marathon. She turned her head and caught her eyes back to Jamie’s, losing her breath in her throat for a moment, swallowing thickly at her own glance now to Jamie’s lips “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

Dani glanced back to Hannah and Owen again, hearing Jamie add in a whisper “They won’t miss us.”

The blonde exhaled another small amused yet still nervous breath and turned her head back to Jamie and nodded once again “Yeah, let’s go.”

“Okay, come on,” Jamie gives Dani another small nudge as she got up from the stump she was sitting on and Dani followed suit, “don’t think I’ve ever shown you the little greenhouse lounge.”

“Greenhouse lounge?”

“Just a little spot down there,” Jamie pointed as they approached further “kind of converted it when Wingrave’s made another one. So if I ever disappear this is the first place to check.” 

“Got it.” Dani laughed. 

They then got to the greenhouse that Jamie led her in, landing herself down on the couch where Dani then sat down beside her, Jamie looked at her for a few moments before she passed Dani over her bottle of wine, she had noticed how off Dani had been since they came out to the bonfire, even before then, since the morning really. “I’m not gonna ask if you’re all right, cause I don’t like being lied to. So what’s wrong?”

Dani paused for a moment, she wanted to tell someone so badly, and not just someone...she wanted to tell Jamie so bad. She wanted to open up to her so much, because she wanted to show Jamie that she did want her to be  _ that  _ person. “I thought I saw…” she stopped again. What if she sounded insane? What if Jamie thought she was a complete nutcase? She closed her eyes for a moment and then just continued, feeling Jamie’s eyes stick to her, “I told you about my fiance...last week.”

“Oh, you did,” Jamie sat forward, clearing her throat. “I was, uh...hoping we’d get round to that one eventually.”

“Yeah...we were...we were engaged and then he...he died,”

Jamie stared at Dani in complete stunned silence for a few more seconds, of all the things she thought, she wasn’t expecting that. She was kind of expecting this to be a  _ the guy fucked me over  _ kind of thing...not the guy died. “He died and I sometimes I...it’s like...I see him.”

Dani turned her head to Jamie and expected to see some kind of freaked out look, but she didn’t get that response, instead Jamie’s face remained delicate and  _ warm _ ...understanding even. “I’ve never told anybody that-and I don’t just mean  _ here  _ I mean at all. No one from my family over in Ohio even knew.”

Jamie had never wanted to hold her as much as she did now, seeing how broken she seemed over it, after closing her eyes for a moment, because quite frankly she felt like a prat for underestimating just how badly this was for her, Jamie sat back forward and turned herself more to Dani “I’m so sorry.”

Dani kept her eyes forward “We were about to break up.Well-we had broken up. I’d broken up, I guess. Right before,” she turned her head back to Jamie with tears in her eyes “I mean  _ right _ before.”

There was a small moment for Jamie to process “Jesus, Dani, the same day?” 

“Yeah.”

Jamie kept her eyes on Dani even as she looked down, the brunette gently pinched her brows as she asked, half scared of what the answer would be “Is he here now?” 

Dani just waited and listened, she looked around before telling Jamie “No.”

“Good, cause you know, I’ll sort him out for you if I have to,” Jamie said with an assuring look on her face as well as a confident nod, then calling out “Oi. Dead boyfriend! Give it up mate! It’s over!” 

Dani couldn’t help the smile that formed on her face, Jamie wasn’t saying that to make fun of her, she was saying it to comfort her...and she was comforting, more than she knew. With a smile reflected back to her, Jamie shook her head “Seriously, Poppins. How are you still standing?” 

A small fear then riled up Dani’s body as she asked faintly “Do you think I’m crazy?”

Jamie tilted her head to her “No.”

“You’re not just saying that?”

“Honestly? I think you’re surprisingly sane considering,” without even really thinking, Jamie reached her hand forward and gently brushed the back of her finger against Dani’s cheek to wipe her stray tear away, catching Dani completely by surprise and just made her want to kiss Jamie even more, “look...I know what it feels like...to feel like you can’t find your-”

Dani didn’t know what it was exactly that gave her the confidence to cut Jamie off with a kiss, but regardless she did it anyway, she leaned forward and finally took the leap that she had been burning to take for what felt like forever and pressed her lips against hers. Feeling like she could crumble at the sensation as soon as it hit. She had never kissed a girl before, and God had she wanted to so badly, she had wanted Jamie  _ so  _ badly. And little did she know, just how much that feeling was mutual.

Jamie was taken by surprise from the kiss at the start of course, but it took her barely even a second to reciprocate it. Her lips sunk back against Dani’s as her hand reached up and rested at her jaw, she wanted to keep kissing her but she also wanted to make sure that like last week when Dani held her hand, this wasn’t just running on emotions and drink. And so carefully, she slowly pried herself back but kept Dani close “You sure?” 

Briefly Dani looked around, searching for him again, but he was nowhere to be seen. This was her moment, this is what she wanted and she was going to take it. “Yes.”

A smile hit Jamie’s face like a flash of lightning as she kept hold of Dani’s face and pressed their foreheads together. She had been yearning and  _ pining  _ for this woman so badly in the short time she had known her, she had wanted to lean forward and kiss her so many times...and now she can. Jamie pulled their lips closer together and whispered before they met again “ _ Thank fuck _ .” 

Dani released a small, excited breath as they enclosed in another deep kiss, it wasn’t soft and slow, it was heavy and on raw built up passion that had been waiting. Jamie’s fingers tangled themselves into Dani’s hair as she gripped to it, their bodies pressed harder together as one of Dani’s hand slid up underneath Jamie’s jacket and held onto her waist to pull her as close as she could whilst the other gripped onto it’s outside. Jamie does the same by taking her other hand to Dani’s hood and holding it tight, almost slipping onto Dani’s lap. Their tongues brushed together, Dani couldn’t help the whimpered moan that slipped from her mouth and projected against Jamie’s which only made the kiss grow stronger and hotter. It was everything they imagined and more.

But then Dani felt as if something was watching them, and when she briefly opened her eyes between the kiss, she saw  _ him _ . Staring at her from over Jamie’s shoulder, and it led to a terrified gasp bursting out from the back of her throat and as she suddenly ripped herself back. 

Jamie was caught off guard at first but then she took it for what it was. Dani wasn’t ready, she  _ clearly  _ had something going on inside her head that she couldn’t get out of, and that just put Jamie in some kind of auto-pilot mode where she quickly brushed off what just happened as a whole “Okay…right,” she cleared her throat and fixed her jacket as the awkward silence crept in, “so-”

“I don’t know what to…I don’t know what to say.”

“Just forget about it. It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, just…”

Dani looked at her with nothing but plead in her eyes which shone through in her shaken voice “ _ Jamie _ .”

Jamie pushed back the heartbreaking tone that Dani had just said her name in, “You were just telling me... _ literally  _ just telling me that you weren’t up for this,” Jamie leaned against the arm of the couch and pressed her palm to her lips, as if to try and wipe away what just happened, but also wanting to savour the feeling of Dani’s lips on hers because she had never felt anything so quite magnetic.

Dani put her hand on Jamie’s arm to try and hold her as Jamie started to get up.  _ Please don’t go, please stay with me. Please just talk _ . But Jamie slid her arm out of Dani’s hold and stood back up “Let’s get back,” 

“Jamie please-”

“Don’t worry about it,” she walked a few steps and turned back to Dani, attempting to sound less wounded as she rounded off her sentence “another night, maybe...another time, maybe,” but she doubted there would be another night, not that she wanted that to be a reality, but she had a feeling that would be the last time she would kiss Dani Clayton.

As she made her way to the bonfire she allowed her expression to be completely flipped and broken, of course she was hurt by how badly that just turned out, it was going so well...Dani had opened up to her like never before as she claims and she kissed  _ her _ ...but maybe Jamie should have been more rational. Maybe she should have made the decision herself that Dani was too emotional to get wrapped up in this right now...maybe if she had, there actually would be another night where their first kiss wouldn’t have ended in disaster. Where their first kiss wouldn’t be their last. 

Jamie didn’t even turn to look at Dani when she heard the footsteps behind her, she just marched right back to the bonfire where Owen and Hannah were still in the midst of a conversation. “So sorry to interrupt, but I’m turning into a pumpkin, come on, Owen, time to go home.”

“Oh, it’s about that time. Well…” Owen stood from sitting closely with Hannah and held up his bottle of wine “I’ll-co-hol you later.”

Hannah scoffed a laugh as he took another swig of the bottle. “God, even for you,” Jamie assisted Owen to get to her car in one piece with Hannah adding “Drive safe.”

“I know the road, we’ll be fine,” Jamie then couldn’t help herself but look over and capture her eyes back at Dani, who was still looking at her with a rather guilt ridden look on her face, leading Jamie to give in and once again reassure the young woman. “It’s all good,” and that was it before she turned her head away and linked Owen to get him to the car. 

Leaving Dani alone to think about everything that had just happened...and to avoid the risk of Hannah seeing her cry, she quickly retired back to the house, letting her tears run down her cheeks the entire way back. Of course she wasn’t mad at Jamie, she wasn’t even mad at herself, it was Edmund, it was him she was mad at. This over glooming wave of guilt that clung beside her everyday. 

And for what? For not loving him how she  _ should  _ have? For not loving any man at all? Why should she have guilt for finally knowing who she is? For knowing who she wants? That wasn’t fair. 

She wanted Jamie, she wanted to keep kissing her, she didn’t want to stop. Kissing Jamie was like nothing she had ever felt before, the way their lips melted and worked together made Dani think  _ so this is what it’s meant to feel like _ . For the longest time, Dani thought there was something wrong with her inside because when Edmund would kiss her, nothing inside her would feel alive or hot. But tonight with Jamie just proved those thoughts wrong, Dani was very much all right, because she was doing it with the right person.

Her thoughts overlapped her so much on the way to bed and getting changed that it began to actually give her a headache, hoping it would go away once she lay in bed. But no, all she could think about what Jamie, the way she looked at her when they were talking, the way she softly wiped Dani’s tear away...and how good her lips and tongue felt. 

Then she felt the vision of his glasses in the corner of her eye, still on her side desk. For the love of God  _ why  _ did she keep them there? She turned and looked at them and now instead of feeling guilt, she just felt angry. He can’t keep doing this, he can’t stop her from wanting to live the life that she wanted... _ she  _ can’t stop herself from doing this. And so suddenly, she got herself out of bed and grabbed the glasses, slipping on her zipper hoodie and made her way back out of the room, but not before she made a detour to the kitchen and grabbed a remaining bottle of wine on the table. 

Dani crept down the stairs and made her way back out of the house, heading towards the bonfire which was now empty from Hannah coming to bed herself, the flames were slowly dying out...but there were enough for her to do what she had intended. She stared down at the flames, and with hesitation at first, she dropped the glasses into the fire. A sudden rapid vision flashing to her mind with her kiss with Jamie, a sensation tingling on her lips as a physical reminder for how good it felt. 

She watched as the glass burst from the lends and it caught a blaze where it would slowly melt and turn into a ball of metal. Dani looked back up and across the bonfire, there he stood again, but she wasn’t afraid this time. She was done. Dani turned and sat down “It’s just you and me, then. Hm?” 

Of course, he didn’t answer. Never once had he been the type of ghost that talked to her...and that made it all the more obvious that it wasn’t actually him, it was in her head, it was the guilt and shame she had been feeling for so long. Because despite how upset he was with her before he did, Edmund would never have but her through this. Still, it didn’t stop her from looking at him and talking to him as if it was truly him haunting her. She took a swig of the bottle and looked to the fire for a moment before she found herself saying aloud “I’m not gonna do this anymore…”

She looked up to him still being there, Dani shook her head “Seeing you everywhere I go, constantly over my shoulder. It has to stop. I am making it stop,” she leaned forward, pressing her arms on her legs “I did love you. I know it wasn’t in the way you wanted-I mean, do you not think I wanted to love you the right way? It wasn’t that I didn’t I  _ couldn’t _ …” she shook her head again as her eyes went back to looking at the flames “I want her. Jamie. And I’m not going to feel ashamed about that,” she looked back up and raised her brows softly “because there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m going to try and make it right with her...and you’re  _ not  _ going to be there,” 

Again he just remained where he stood, Dani hummed softly and looked down “It’s got to stop, Eddie...I know it’s not really you but it’s got to stop. I’m not doing this anymore. I am going to go after the life I want. No more fear.” 

Just like that when she looked back up...he was gone. A breath got caught in her throat, for a moment she thought that she was wrong, that she would look away and back again and he would return, but as the glasses turned into a mold of lumpy metal...he was no longer in sight. 

And Dani truly believed that this was it. That she was free from him, free from the grief, guilt and pain. Finally. She was free. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed this chapter, please leave comments on your thoughts!


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